Mother's viral post urges teachers to stop using the words 'mum and dad'

The tweet went viral with many suggesting alternatives to the heteronormative terms. Photo / 123rf

"Mum and dad" are terms currently used by teachers in the classroom to refer to a student's parents - but some people think that should change.

A post on Twitter earlier this month has gone viral, after a mother shared why she thinks it can harmful to children to use heteronormative terms to refer to their parents or caregivers.

The woman, a gay mother, says her own child hears "mum and dad" regularly in the classroom, something she considers "infuriating" as it does not accurately reflect her situation.

"Teachers, ur class convos are broadcasted in everyone's homes. The # of times the teacher has said 'your mom and dad' to my kid's class is infuriating. But a BRAVE kid just said...'But I only told my grandma at lunch time because my sister and I live with our grandma'," Sirry Alang posted on Twitter.

Teachers, ur class convos are broadcasted in everyone’s homes. The # of times the teacher has said “your mom and dad” to my kid’s class is infuriating. But a BRAVE kid just said...”But I only told my grandma at lunch time because my sister and I live with our grandma.”

— Sirry Alang, PhD (she/her) (@ProfAlang) September 8, 2020

"Then of course my kid jumped in right away & said: 'I don't have a dad & it's ok because my mom said there are different kinds of families. Even though I would want a dad but she's gay. Gay means she only dates women.' LOL. Now my business is out there," she added in a subsequent tweet.

Many children live with just one of their parents or even grandparents or gay parents or numerous other family structures. These children, she argues, will feel excluded by the heteronormative terms.

The tweet went viral, with many supporting her stance that teaches need to stop assuming children's caregivers are always a mum and a dad.

"I intentionally spent today going way out of my way to say 'parent or relative who is in charge of you' and it honestly didn't cause me any stress or strain and I know some kids and their families appreciated it," one person replied.

"How hard is it to say 'loved ones; or 'caregivers'? Grateful for the teachers trying to make virtual learning work, but they must know by now how varied the home lives of their students are, and should be using inclusive language to reflect that," another social media user said.

Bestselling author Glennon Doyle also chimed in on the topic, retweeted the tweet and adding: "Please consider saying 'your grown ups.' I used that when I was teaching and it helped. Adults' language can determine children's belonging."

Please consider saying “your grown ups.” I used that when I was teaching and it helped. Adults’ language can determine children’s belonging. https://t.co/mRFllv59Mq

— Glennon Doyle (@GlennonDoyle) September 9, 2020

Alang added that the teacher apologised and promised to change the wording: "Teacher apologised and said she'll start saying 'parent or the adult helping you at home'. I have faith in this generation."