ROYALTOUR

The kids are scrapping. The daughter-in-law's in the tabloids - again. Dad crashed the car. Little brother was way too close to a sex offender. And the weather's turned cold and drab.

So why not jump on a plane (no sardine class, thanks) and travel as far as you can before you find yourself coming back.

The future king, Prince Charles, and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, are coming to New Zealand for their third official visit, before the prince pops over to Tuvalu and the Solomon Islands on the way home.

They'll arrive, most likely, in the sunshine, with fine weather and a high of 22C forecast in Auckland tomorrow afternoon, when the couple and various hangers-on land at Whenuapai in West Auckland.

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No doubt there'll be a nice welcome with smiles, handshakes and hongi.

Prince Charles and Camilla are coming to New Zealand this month.

What a nice change it'll be from home where, let's face it, it's been a bit of a year for the Royal household.

Only a few weeks ago, Prince Charles was reported by Royal sources to The Sun to be "livid" about the growing feud between his two sons, princes William and Harry.

And it's a rift that's real - Prince Harry confirmed so when a documentary crew followed the Duke and Duchess of Sussex on their recent African tour, saying the pair were on "different paths at the moment", although he also said they'd "always be brothers".

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, and their baby son Archie Mountbatten-Windsor, pictured during the family's African tour this year. Pool photo / Samir Hussein / WireImage
Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, and their baby son Archie Mountbatten-Windsor, pictured during the family's African tour this year. Pool photo / Samir Hussein / WireImage

In September, documents released by the UK's Companies House revealed Harry and Meghan's names had been removed from the joint charitable endeavour they were involved in with William and Kate.

The new parents of wee Archie have also turned heads since 6-month-old's birth, grabbing headlines by taking control of how quickly the baby's arrival would be announced, where the first official photo would be taken, and refusing to reveal the names of Archie's godparents. All bucked Royal practice.

The headlines continued throughout the year, most pointedly with criticism of the couple's climate change clanger - announcing, for the planet, they'd only have two kids, and then jumping on private jets to exotic locales.

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Prince Charles, left, and his son, Prince William, pictured in June. Prince Charles is reported to be
Prince Charles, left, and his son, Prince William, pictured in June. Prince Charles is reported to be "livid" about the rift between his sons, William and Harry. Photo / Samir Hussein / WireImage

Immediately after, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, and their kids, just happened to join the masses on a budget airline flight.

In the most recent headline, it was reported yesterday the trio would ditch a Royal Christmas to spend the festive season with the Duchess of Sussex's mother.

Beyond the kids, brother Prince Andrew has also been causing the Royal family headaches, after a woman accused late billionaire and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein of forcing her to have sex with the prince when she was 17. The Duke of York denies the allegation, but that hasn't stopped an onslaught of damaging stories.

Prince Andrew with Virginia Roberts, the woman at the centre of sex allegations against the prince. Photo / Supplied
Prince Andrew with Virginia Roberts, the woman at the centre of sex allegations against the prince. Photo / Supplied

Even the most senior Royals couldn't stay out of trouble - the Prince of Wales' father, 98-year-old Prince Philip, crashed into a car containing two women and a baby near Sandringham Estate in January.

One of the women, who suffered a broken wrist in the crash, added to the tale of woe by later complaining no-one from the Royal family had been in touch following the crash, and that the elderly prince was "highly insensitive and inconsiderate" when he was spotted driving without a seatbelt 48 hours later.

So, yeah. Who can blame our future king wanting to see out what he might describe as his own annus horribilis in the warm embrace of the South Pacific.

STILL WANT TO SEE THEM? HERE'S HOW

What's a Royal visit without a bit of glad-handing and few selfies with the most loyal of your subjects?

Here's where to soak up a bit of that Royal stardust.

Exact times are yet to be released, but the public will have a few chances to see the Royal couple during their week-long visit to Auckland, the Bay of Islands, Christchurch and Kaikōura.

Public walkabouts in Auckland, at the Viaduct Harbour on Tuesday afternoon, in Christchurch, at Cathedral Square on Friday afternoon, and in Kaikōura (the Prince only) on Saturday afternoon, are planned.

There will also be a wreath-laying ceremony at Mt Roskill War Memorial Park on Monday morning.

There are no walkabouts in the Bay of Islands, but the Prince of Wales will visit the Paihia fire station and the Duchess of Cornwall Kerikeri School on Wednesday afternoon. Both will also visit the Treaty grounds during the afternoon.