A save-the-date card is not a subpoena. You are allowed to skip being in the bridal party, attending a shower or bachelor/bachelorette party and even the wedding itself.

Search for "bridesmaid proposal" on Etsy and you'll be met with 49,465 results. There are the cutesy mugs ("I can't marry my mister without my sister") and the cards that seem less of a request than an order ("You're obviously going to be my maid of honour — and no, that wasn't a question"). These 49,465 data points perfectly illustrate why so many people feel as if they can't say no to

What to know before your no

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How to say no to being in the bridal party

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Saying no to other events

Dealing with various requests

Advice for couples feeling rejected