If you're a living, breathing human, you're probably familiar with Pornhub.
Don't get embarrassed. You've flicked Google into Incognito mode and taken a browse. So have the majority of your square colleagues. As has your frumpy Aunt Brenda.
But have you ever gone in for a bit of Friday night solo love and just wished it was a bit … cuddlier? That Pizza Hut Guy and Busty Single Female would end up sharing that rapidly cooling box of pepperoni slices? That the smarmy, roided-up plumber actually fixed the leaky sink? That Derek The Naughty Schoolboy left that empty classroom disciplined with nothing more than a lesson in how to be more respectful to his hardworking peers?
If these wholesome activities sound like they'd get your motor running, you're in luck, because one charitable bloke has dedicated a whole channel on the adult site to give you a G-rated, totally platonic climax, news.com.au reports.
Ryan Creamer — forgive the name — has been uploading videos to Pornhub dedicated to loving, wholesome gestures.
His first video, I Tuck You In After You Have C**, sees him doing just that with an endearing smile.
The videos are often spins on classic porn scenarios. One is called I Ride In A Taxi And Don't Have Sex With The Driver. Another is I, Your Step-Brother, Decline Your Advances But Am Flattered Nonetheless. There's even a from-above clip called POV FOREHEAD KISS COMPILATION.
Creamer's project has gone viral after one user (we're not sure what they were searching for) posted screenshots from various videos to Twitter.
Speaking to Buzzfeed News, Creamer said the idea came out of a bit of regular Pornhub scrolling.
He said he noticed a "Work for Us" link at the bottom of the page, and was intrigued.
"I clicked and learned anyone can get verified. You just submit a picture of your face with a piece of paper with your name on it," he said. "Once they verify who you are, they verify your account, and then I posted my first video."
Some of the videos have hundreds of thousands of views, and positive comments — both from viewers and the wider sex industry.
"Every person who works in the porn and sex industry has been kind to me, which is really, really cool," he said.
"Two days ago a guy on Twitter was like, 'Hey Sex Twitter, I want you to meet Ryan,' and tagged my handle."
The positive feedback has inspired him to make even more videos.
Which means maybe — just maybe — we may finally see someone finish a damn pizza on that website.