Ghosting, the act of ending a relationship by ceasing all forms of communication without explanation, is the modern coward's way of breaking up with someone.

Now a bloke has written in to the American advice column Ask A Manager asking for help after ghosting his ex-girlfriend a decade ago, reports.

(FYI, we've reached out to Ask A Manager's Alison Green to confirm the story and we're waiting to hear back. Fingers crossed it's exactly as it sounds, because this story is just too good.)

So years ago, this guy was in a relationship with a woman called Sylvia. They dated for three years and lived together for two.


She wanted to settle down, but he was not ready to commit - they had different expectations from the relationship.

"I did not know what to do and, well, I ghosted her," he wrote.

"Over the Christmas break, while she was visiting her family, I simply moved out and left the country. I took advantage of the fact that I accepted a job in other country and did not tell her about it. I simply wanted to avoid being untangled in a breakup drama.

"Sylvia was rather emotional and became obsessed with the relationship, tracking me down, even causing various scenes with my parents and friends."

Understandly, Sylvia was pissed off and tried to find out what happened. We don't know if this was just normal checking in, or if it turned kind of stalker-ish.

Anyway, fast forward to now. This guy works as a maths teacher and has had a series of relationships since Sylvia. He hasn't thought about her in years. Until now.

"This week, I learnt that our fantastic school director suddenly resigned due to a serious family situation and had to move back to her home country over the summer. The school had to replace her. We are getting a new director," he wrote.

"I read the bio of the new boss and googled her and was shocked to discover it is Sylvia.


We have not been in touch and do not have any mutual friends anymore. I am not a big fan of social media and had no idea what she had been up to since the unpleasant situation a long time ago.

"I have no idea what to do and how to deal with this mess. It is clear this will be not only embarrassing but I will also be reporting to my ex ... Even finding a job elsewhere is not possible on such a short notice.

"I understand that this would not have happened if I did not ghost her back then, but I cannot do anything about it now. I gathered from the comments that readers usually have a go on people like me for 'bad behaviour' but I am really looking for constructive comments how to deal with the situation.

"Do you have any suggestions for me how to handle it and what should I do?"

Well, where to begin?

Alison, bless her, said: "I don't know that you can salvage this! It's not reasonable to ask Sylvia to manage someone who she has this history with.


"You were together for three years, and you lived together! And then you disappeared with no word? That's some serious emotional destruction that you inflicted there. I'm not surprised that she contacted your family and friends; she was probably worried about whether you were alive or not!

"I'd be prepared to have to move on, whatever that might look like for you. I get that it's going to be inconvenient - maybe even quite hard - but there may not be an alternative here."

Good luck mate, you'll need it. We'll report back if we hear Sylvia's side of the story.