I would not recommend phoning. I did and I asked if we could please have two chargrilled beef and cheese burgers and one standard beef and cheese and two scoops of chips and one piece of fish - a battered snapper fillet. Despite the online menu distinguishing between these burgers (the chargrilled are slightly more expensive than the standard) I was told they're all the same. Also there is quite a lot of background noise, and I had to repeat myself a few times. But that wasn't the end of it.


It takes 10 minutes to drive there, which is good, because this was the timeframe I'd been given for the order. I park up on a quiet Tuesday night and go inside where I'm handed my order. The chip packet looks a bit small, I think as I jump in my car. Fortunately for them I don't take off straight away, because I'm a little hog and I feel like a hot chip something bad. I open the chip packet (old-school paper) - and also for those who are waiting, back home, to let out the steam. Just then the dude comes running up to my car. I wind down the passenger window and he's in a panic because they've given me someone else's order. So I go back inside. The someone else is vegetarian and has ordered vegetarian - not beef and cheese. As they take my wrong order back over the counter I hope they actually do a fresh packet of chips for the poor vego. Because, like I said, I'd tried a couple.


At the point I commit to a burger, I cannot get the burger out of my mind. It's next-level obsession for me. The car steering wheel looks like a big juicy burger, the traffic lights: burgers. All of it. Everything. A good burger is like nothing else but I am so sad to report that our burgers were dry, flat and also sad. The patties were processed and miserable. And the cheese barely made a cameo appearance. It wasn't meltilicous and generous. I honestly hate to think what the "small burgers" - also on the menu - look like. Maybe you get what you pay for, and we should've ordered the "Beast" at $15.90 for steak, bacon, pattie, egg, chicken and pineapple. But we just wanted a really great, simple beef and cheese burger. And chips. And a piece of snapper. Well I'm not sure if it was snapper, because all we got was a hunk of deep-fried batter, with apparently nothing inside. I rang to tell them I was disappointed, particulary about the missing snapper. The guy said sorry, that burgers were really their specialty. I so wanted this to have a different outcome, mainly because we were really hungry and also who likes to diss a takeaway joint? But there were several things wrong and we were the ones who felt fried.