Are you gay for the stay? If so you wouldn't want to do it with a gronk, a dog or a scrim and you certainly wouldn't want to do it in the bone yard.
Got all that? Congratulations - now you're ready for prison.
News.com.au has obtained the official list of prison slang compiled by corrective service authorities.
And it has to be said some of them are pretty funny - although if you came across them in real life chances are, you wouldn't be laughing.
And it also has to be said that while both officers and inmates have their own language used on the inside, the inmates are a fair bit funnier than the screws.
Speaking of which, first prize goes to "gay for the stay", which - as you can probably guess - applies to an inmate who is heterosexual on the outside but prepared to, shall we say, love the one you're with for the duration of their sentence.
As Tony Soprano so succinctly put it, "Prison doesn't count."
There is also "cockatoo" - on a completely unrelated subject - which is an inmate who acts as a lookout for approaching guards.
A less desirable inmate would be a "dog" (informer), "gronk" (irritating person) or "scrim" (self-important prisoner). There is also a "spinner", diplomatically described as an "inmate acting strangely and possibly dangerously due to mental health issues".
You might encounter some of these types while "doing a brick" (10 years) or even just a "coat and tie" (five years) - although the last place you'd want to spend those years is in the "bone yard", which is where "protected" inmates such as sex offenders and informants are housed.
End up there and you'd want to be careful going to the brasco with your date roll, if you know what I mean.
Here is the full list of 2017 prison slang compiled by Corrective Services NSW:
Used by officers:
* Baggies - new officers
* Blue - fight
* Bupe - Buprenorphine, a prescription medication for people addicted to heroin or other opiates
* Crims/crooks - inmates
* Knock up - for an inmate to press the call-up button in a cell
* Let go - release inmates from cells
* Slot - cell
* Three-outs - cell with three inmates
* Two-outs - cell with two inmates
* Lock down - inmates locked in cells
Used by inmates and officers:
* Buy-ups - Approved purchases by inmates (eg toiletries, chocolate)
* Cockatoo - inmate who is the lookout to alert inmates that an officer is coming
* Done/Petrol - methadone
* Freshies - new inmates
* Greens - prison clothing
* Ma'am - female officer
* Segro - segregation of inmate
* Shiv - improvised knife
* Slash up - to self-harm through cutting
* Sweeper - inmate who undertakes paid domestic tasks in an area of a centre
* Wing - inmate accommodation area
* Yard - secure outside area near a wing
Used by inmates
* Bone yard - area where inmates on protection are housed, often because they are sex offenders or informers (see Dog).
* Boss - used when addressing officers
* Brasco - toilet
* Brew - cup of coffee; also jail-made alcohol
* Bridge up - to fight or show off
* Bro - Koori or Polynesian
* Cellie - cell mate
* Co-ee - co-accused
* Chat/Chatty - chat is an inmate who is dirty; a chatty cell is dirty, untidy cell
* Chief - officers, especially those in charge
* Collar and tie - five-year sentence
* Date roll - toilet paper
* Dog - inmate who reports on other inmates to officers
* Dog and bone - phone
* Doing a brick - 10-year sentence
* Frequent flyer - return inmate
* Gronk - irritating inmate
* Ink - tattoo
* Peter thief - an inmate who steals from another inmate's cell
* Pipper - senior or executive correctional officer
* Rock spider - paedophile
* Satin silk - milk
* Scrim - an inmate who thinks they are important because of the particular job they have in prison (eg certain clerical positions)
* Screw - correctional Officer
* Spinner - inmate acting strangely and possibly dangerously due to mental health issues