NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Eight signs you're in love with a sociopath

NZ Herald
3 Apr, 2017 04:00 AM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

The undivided attention of a sociopath can be both flattering and addictive. Photo / YouTube

The undivided attention of a sociopath can be both flattering and addictive. Photo / YouTube

You've either heard friends regale their own sagas or you've had the "fortunate" experience firsthand - you met a charming man or woman, things got hot and heavy fast, then, just as quickly, they got weird... really weird.

The same person who was infatuated with you is now unavailable, flaky, hurtful without realising it and the drama that followed made your head spin. Ladies and gentlemen, if this sounds like a bit of you, according to The Sun, you may have been dating a sociopath.

Likening it to the character of Max Branning on British TV show Eastenders, sociopaths are customarily charming.

On the show, Max is hell bent on making what he wants to happen happen and, more often than not, at the expense of whoever gets in his way.

Even his kids aren't spared, sitting as priority number two to his needs.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

When it comes to lying, if it were an Olympic sport, Max would come up trumps too, spinning a web of deceit without flinching in the slightest.

This is because lying and cheating comes as easily and naturally to a sociopath as breathing does to us.

After an argument, you'd be hard pressed to find a sociopath that feels bad or displays any signs of remorse.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

In the same way, Christian Grey presents some sociopathic tendencies in 50 Shades of Grey - his infatuation with Anastasia is fast and full-on, but when she suggests they go on dates and have a "real relationship" he's quick to distance himself and make excuses for why that won't work.

Unlike the rest of us, their emotional toolbox may be lacking a few key implements.

The stats differ - with one or four per cent of the public displaying sociopath tendencies. In other words, if you've bravely put yourself on the market, your chances of coming face to face with one (or more) are somewhat inevitable.

It pays to keep an eye out for these telltale signs:

1. They come with a generous serving of excuses

On the off chance that you confront their lies, they've got a knack for manipulating it into something believable that paints them as the good guy / girl that's been hardone by.

2. Reliability isn't in their vocabulary

Initially they'll be there for you in more ways than you could possibly imagine but soon, the cracks start to show. And when asked to explain why they've been flaking on you, they promise to change but things never do.

3. They turn on the charm

Bringing a literal meaning to charming the pants off someone, sociopaths are masters of getting what they want when they want it.

Focusing all their attention and care on you is hugely flattering and irresistible but as soon as they grow tired of you (which will undoubtedly happen), you'll be dropped faster than a hot potato.

Sociopath's bring a certain thrill that is hard to resist. Photo / YouTube.
Sociopath's bring a certain thrill that is hard to resist. Photo / YouTube.

4. Mistakes aren't treated as lessons

The more time you spend with a sociopath, the more you'll notice the multitude of mistakes that seem to follow them around. And worst still, they don't seem to learn from any of them.

5. Where sociopaths go, drama follows

But it is never their fault, of course! Rather, they'll tell you in great detail how horrible or incapable the other person is and why they are the victim here.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

6. It's all very exciting at first

Keen risk takers, sociopaths exercise their bad judgement on the daily and the initial thrill that follows can make things seem harmless and exhilarating.

7. They sacrifice people

This may not include you initially but you may notice their lack of care for others who are seemingly of no use to them. This includes moving on when they've clearly upset someone or having a laugh at someone's expense.

8. They tell you that you're being paranoid

Like an animal backed into a corner, with no other choice but to lash out, if you begin to unravel a sociopath's web of deceit and confront them, they'll come for you.

Accusing you of being overly suspicious, they'll use their bag of tricks to make you out to be the bad person here.

via GIPHY

To save yourself the heartache and havoc, trust your instincts. Don't ignore the red flags, if things seem too good to be true, they probably are. Failing to turn and run can cause you to be ensnared in the selfish sociopath's scheming ways.

Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Lifestyle

'Speechless': Woman's lost engagement ring miraculously found with stranger's help

Lifestyle

Boss’ insane text to gym members about ‘young women’ rule

Lifestyle

King Charles' unprecedented Trump move


Sponsored

Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

'Speechless': Woman's lost engagement ring miraculously found with stranger's help
Lifestyle

'Speechless': Woman's lost engagement ring miraculously found with stranger's help

Diana lost her treasured ring while collecting water samples in the Waiuku mudflats.

14 Jul 07:00 AM
Boss’ insane text to gym members about ‘young women’ rule
Lifestyle

Boss’ insane text to gym members about ‘young women’ rule

14 Jul 02:04 AM
King Charles' unprecedented Trump move
Lifestyle

King Charles' unprecedented Trump move

14 Jul 01:14 AM


Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper
Sponsored

Sponsored: Why heat pumps make winter cheaper

01 Jul 04:58 PM
NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP