Kim Debron met Master Joe not long after the demise of her second marriage. She was a 40-something single mum from Victoria, Australia, exploring the underworld of submissive/dominant play when she realised that she never wanted to leave.

"i (no capitals when referring to herself) made this choice when i met someone not long after my second marriage had ended. i spent most of my adult life being in charge, running a riding school, running a section in a government department, running a business with my first husband, being a single parent etc," says Kim.

"For me, knowing i am His collared and owned slave, means that i have given Him all of me that there is to give. It means that He owns my body, He controls my mind, He fills my heart, and He soothes my soul."

Undoubtedly, as a "consensual slave" it is quite the extreme end of the power play spectrum, but Kim enjoys this hierarchy.


"To be in a relationship where i don't have to make all the decisions is like freedom. It's nice to have someone else in charge, someone to kill the spiders, to change the oil in the car, to make sure i take care of myself. It's nice to know that i am supported in everything i do," says Kim.

"To be in a relationship where i don't have to make all the decisions is like freedom," says Kim. Photo / Supplied

Kim may be completely submissive but she does not lack free will. Obviously, in a relationship where you have relinquished your power this can cause an internal struggle.

"Sometimes there is not conflict exactly but sometimes my brain is conflicted. In the early days of our relationship i found submitting to His will or His decisions, was often difficult because i had been in charge of myself for so long. Even in my second marriage i was the one in charge of pretty much everything.

"It got easier as time went on. And the good thing is that if there really is a conflict in my mind about whatever decision is being made, He listens to my point of view, He listens to my reasoning, and then based on what i have said, and how He feels, He may change the decision - if He doesn't then i accept it, because i know deep down He has my best interests at heart."

Much of our education about this dominant/submissive world has been through reading Fifty Shades of Grey, and although Kim and Master Joe's "play time" might make Christian Grey blush, mostly their days are fairly routine; emails, chores, knitting, asking permission to go to the bathroom, and the occasional spank on the rump.

"It's really just the same as any other middle aged married couple, just the wife doesn't call her husband by his first name," says Kim.

"His name is Master or Sir."

While we may not grasp this kind of lifestyle, there is no doubt that this duo of kinksters are deeply in love. Kim says, "i am safe, i am loved, i am cared for, i am protected, and i am complete."

All anyone can ask is to feel secure, protected and happy in a relationship, and we all get there in different ways.