Jonah Lomu's death left Nadene a solo mum of two energetic kids. Photo / Amalia Osborne
In many ways, Brayley and Dhyreille Lomu are typical teenage boys.
They love music, sport and fast cars, they’d rather not do schoolwork if they can get away with it, and they can put away an impressive amount of food between them. Dhyreille especially has inherited his dad’s sweet tooth, grinning with delight at the prospect of devouring a chocolate fish, while both eagerly eye up the sandwiches and delicious baking that await them after our interview.
But sadly, the boys have had anything but a normal childhood since their dad, rugby legend Jonah Lomu, died on November 18, 2015 from a heart attack linked to his kidney disorder. It’s left Jonah’s widow Nadene, 45, a solo mum of two energetic kids, both of whom share their late father’s sporting prowess. But while Jonah’s passion was on the rugby field, Brayley, 15, and Dhyreille, 14 are courting a different type of ball – the tennis type.
The boys’ dream of becoming professional sportsmen spurred a change three years ago from traditional schooling to correspondence school Te Kura so they can fit in as much training as possible. That’s something else they rely heavily on Nadene and Nadene’s dad Mervyn for, as he coaches the boys, and they often travel across Auckland to get affordable access to the tennis courts.
“The love within our family is pretty special,” says Nadene. “Dad and the boys cruise and gym together. I’m very grateful to have parents who love me.”
“Professional sport is hard, but playing tennis is our life. I love all kinds of exercise, and doing online school means we can fit in a lot more training,” explains Dhyreille, who bears a striking similarity to Jonah in many ways. “Depending on when we can get court time, I can be playing tennis from 9am until about 7.30pm.”
The boys are polite and well-mannered – they are quiet and courteous, and jump up to open doors for the Weekly’s photographer when she has her hands full. While Brayley is the slightly more reserved of the brothers, he does much of the talking – although he insists that Dhyreille is “the most competitive by far!”
Looking after two teenagers, as well as working in real estate and studying full-time for a law degree, is a lot for anyone. But for Nadene, the daily grind is compounded by the fact she’s still grieving for the man who was the love of her life – and because nearly nine years on, she’s still fighting for control of the Jonah Lomu name, persona, image and related intellectual property rights.
“I signed the variation to the licence agreement in 2017 under duress while I was grieving as I believed the transfer of the shares and IP to me would happen once the estate was completed. I just wanted the family to be able to move on,” explains Nadene, who was working with a lawyer at the time. “But we feel a significant condition of the agreement has failed to be fulfilled.”
The boys are Nadene’s world and she does everything possible to give them the best upbringing. “I have much to be thankful for. I’m so blessed to have my boys with Jonah,” says Nadene, who is the residual beneficiary of her husband’s will. “But while the executor of my late husband’s will continues to create obstacles over finalising the transfer of Jonah’s IP (intellectual property) and shares of Jonah’s company, we’re stuck in this web we can’t get out of.
“I’m not a lawyer, and I don’t have the money to keep fighting,” she says. “I know I made some mistakes. Jonah wanted me to get on to some of the shares and IP paperwork when we were in the UK, a few months before he died, but I had so much on my plate, I just parked it, figuring I’d deal with it when we got home. We couldn’t have known the unthinkable would happen and he’d pass away. But we feel really betrayed.”
Both boys are determined to do well. They are currently sponsored by sports brand Babolat and are looking at getting more sponsorships so they can take their tennis training to the next level. But they’re struggling with the toll the conflict has taken on their mum, and are very protective of her, even helping her set up open homes for her real estate job as they don’t want her to be alone.
Nadene frequently fights back tears as she talks to the Weekly. “If it weren’t for the boys, I don’t know if I’d still be here today,” she admits. “I’ve been in a pretty bad way emotionally since losing Jonah and again over the past few weeks leading up to the court case where I was self-represented. Some days I can’t function, can’t be a proper mum. On those days, the boys literally take over the house. They’ll get me a drink, they’ll make dinner, they ask ‘Mum, what do you need me to do?’ They’re so good, but this whole situation isn’t fair on them. My job as their mum is to help them remember and talk about the good things their dad did. But no matter how hard I try, it’s not enough.”
“Dad would never have wanted this,” says Brayley, who is clearly concerned for his mum. “It makes me so angry – I don’t understand how this could have happened when Dad loved Mum so much. I remember my dad always telling me and Dhyreille how lucky we are to have such a loving mum.”
“I get there’s a commercial aspect to Jonah, I really do,” insists Nadene, who was a successful businesswoman before she married Jonah. “But to us he wasn’t just ‘Jonah’ – he is the boys’ dad, and the man I love. The people who want to use Jonah’s name for commercial gain don’t care about him the way we do.”
The situation’s created a lot of pressure for the family, but Brayley and Dhyreille say supporting their mum is part of their ‘why’ when it comes to tennis. “I want to do well so Mum can retire. She’s always working, and she never has time for herself,” explains Brayley, who describes the tennis court as his “happy place”. “If she’s not studying or doing her real estate, she’s working on Dad’s stuff. I just want us to be able to get on with our lives.”
The family often talk about Jonah, and comfort each other with their memories. “I still remember Dad, even though I was only 5 when he died,” says Dhyreille, recounting a tale from his fifth birthday party – his last before Jonah’s death. “Dad was playing DJ on the decks, like he often was, and I had a Minions birthday cake. I remember that cake!”
“Dad loved his music so much – that was such a big thing for him,” smiles Brayley, whose memories include dancing crazily around the living room with Dhyreille while Jonah played music loudly on his beloved decks. “It was something we did most Saturday afternoons. We had a lot of love, the four of us. We’d always stick together.”
It’s a wonderfully light moment in what’s otherwise a pretty harrowing conversation. Nadene’s visibly exhausted and at a loss as to how to move forward, but she’s determined to keep going until the will is administered. “I can’t see how our family can start to heal until this battle is over,” she says. “There was so much good in Jonah. I can’t stand by and let something he’d have hated happen – and neither will the boys.
“I’m not doing this for myself,” she says. “Jonah would never have wanted this – we were his world. The day before he died, Jonah made me promise that I’d keep fighting, no matter how difficult things got. And I’ve tried so hard to protect his legacy and provide for our boys. But while I’m fighting to protect Jonah, Jonah can’t protect us. If he was here, none of this would be happening.
“Jonah knew I was strong – he said so to me all the time, and wrote about it in his book. And I am strong – but never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d have to fight this hard.”
Meanwhile, Brayley and Dhyreille are right behind their mum, and the pair are a credit to her. “I don’t think it’s hard to be a decent human being,” says Nadene. “That’s all I want, to raise my boys to be good, honest, decent humans who treat others with love and care. Being a good person goes a long way.”
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