Mind Matters with Kyle MacDonald: lockdown is hard enough without suffering nightmares

Listen to your dreams - not the nightmarish story but the underlying feelings. Photo / 123rf

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Q: I'm having awful, tension-filled dreams and nightmares since we went into level 4 - am I the only one?

A: You certainly are not on your own. Much can be said about dreams - and not all of it useful. But one thing we know for sure is that they're influenced by our waking life and seem to be the brain's attempt to process and file memories and experiences from the day. Too much can be made of the literal meaning but we should pay attention to the emotional content.

Tension and anxiety is the "new normal" for so many of us right now. I think when we work hard to hold it together - for our kids, our partners, our work - during the day, then the tension needs to go somewhere, so our dreams can then be a place to process the unattended-to feelings.

Unfortunately that can leave us feeling exhausted and like we haven't really slept.

So listen to your dreams. Again, not the literal story, but the feelings.

It's possible to really underestimate how much of a toll these lockdowns have, because on the one hand it seems like we're doing less, maybe it even feels boring. But it's also scary, and unrelenting.

It's important, if you're having dreams like this to try make more space for the feelings, and to pay attention to your emotional world, in your waking life.

Take some time to slow down, gently accept the anxiety and, ideally, take some time to actively reduce the tension - exercise, distract yourself or do things that are physically relaxing.

And if you need to, have a cry, have a yell - run until you're exhausted. Do whatever helps you connect with the tension and ideally unwind it.

It can also be useful to talk it out, too. Connect with your partner or friends and share your frustrations and anxieties. We're all in this together, so at least we can count on most people to understand what we're going through.

Q: I panic whenever I have to wear a mask. I know why, it's linked to some awful medical trauma from years ago. But now we have to wear masks, I can't and I want to get over this.

A: That sounds awful and I think it's true that wearing masks isn't fun - but of course it's a real problem if the feelings are so strong that it means you can't get out of the house or to the essential services we all need at present.

So while it is technically possible to use "health reasons" - including mental health - to not wear a mask, that can be tricky too, because other people might not know why your face is uncovered and, of course, may not respond well.

If you want to actively work on this - and it seems that you do - then the approach is to gently and slowly expose yourself to the feelings, in a planned and manageable way.

Start with practising some simple relaxation exercises - there are plenty online - and most focus on breathing. And then when you're feeling relatively calm, practise for short periods of time at home, wearing a mask. Push yourself to wear it for as long as you can tolerate - and use relaxation and breathing to push that boundary out as far as you can.

Then do repeated practice, just like any other exercise. Keep pushing out the boundary of what you can tolerate. It can be hard and it can take time. While you're unlikely to end up liking wearing a mask, hopefully it enable you to tolerate it as an unpleasant inconvenience like the rest of us.