Lee Suckling: The 'text' messages you should never send

Sexts can, and may, still be used against you. Maybe by a disgruntled ex-lover, or by a hacker, or by someone you sexted while drunk by accident. Photo / Getty Images

• Warning: explicit content

There's a millennial predicament in sending naked, partially naked, or sexually suggestive photos and videos to other people. Do you hold back because you're afraid said media will come back to bite you in the ass one day? Or, do you send away willy nilly (so to speak) because it's now expected in the dating world?

I believe we will, in the not-too-distant-future, reach a time where it's accepted that everyone has nudes out there on the internet. It's surely inevitable that in 20 years time every politician, celebrity, and CEO has – at one point or another during their years – sent a dick pic or a boob flash.

My hope is that there'll be no shame in this. By being honest about these photos or videos' existence, society can accept, well, that everyone's bits are on the web if you search for them. Importantly, if everybody has a nude or two in the public sphere, they can't be used against us – and revenge porn can die a wonderful, much-needed death.

We are not there yet though.

At the present time, there is no "safe" way to sext. That is, there's no way to completely and totally protect yourself from those photos and videos haunting you in the future. Disappearing/self-deleting functionality on apps like Snapchat and Instagram only give you a false sense of security: there are many ways around it.

Sexting seems like a good idea at the time. It's hot to send nudes, receive compliments, and get reciprocal nudes back. It's like a sexy game of cat-and-mouse - at every communication you might push things a little further. This heightens sexual tension and is entertaining, at worst, and mind-blowing at best.

I sext sometimes, and often have a great time doing it. I've never made a hardcore sex tape and my photos tend to veer towards partially-nude, but there are some exceptions. Occasionally, in the heat of the moment when you receive a sext that turns you on so much, all you want to do is to reply in kind. There can be a lot of satisfaction in knowing somebody is bursting at the seams whilst looking at you from afar.

However, I've also accepted the risks in partaking in such sexting. Once I take a photo on an internet-connected device and sent it online, it's not 100 per cent mine anymore. Maybe it should be, but it's not.

It might be stolen. It could be intercepted, and there's a chance it will be seen by someone other than the recipient at some point in the future. I'm okay with that. I'm not embarrassed by my body, my sexuality, or the fact I have done a couple of thottie nudes in my time. I really don't care that much, and I'm honest about them, so they can't be used against me.

There's a modern adage that you should only send nudes to people you trust. To me this doesn't take into account the fact that trust is not unwavering. Trusting somebody now does not mean you'll trust them forever. If you're not in agreement with that concept, I don't think you should sext.

More important to me is only sending nudes you're happy with. Photos and videos you wouldn't be mortified of in the years to come. No, they aren't something you would want your mother to see. But if a stranger on the other side of the planet were to come across your naked body on Tumblr, it shouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

If you're worried about how sexts could affect your job prospects, again, sexting isn't for you. If a nude would seriously damage your career or be a reason you should resign, I wouldn't take or send them in the first place.

But even if you want to be Prime Minister, I don't think this will be a deal-breaker in a few decades time. I struggle to think there's any adult under 35 out there who doesn't have at least one tasteful nude of themselves on their phone – and a handful of us have to have all the top jobs eventually.