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Gaining constructive criticism, however uncomfortable it will make you, is one of the most valuable aspects here. Image / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: The secret to a good break-up

18 Sep, 2018 7:26am
5 minutes to read

You've done it when leaving a job. Here's why it works for ending relationships too.

Lee Suckling was always focussing on more, more, more. Then he stopped. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What you're forgetting about finding happiness

11 Sep, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Ask most people if they're happy, they'll say yes. Lee Suckling asks what you're missing.

Lee Suckling explains why we shouldn't be wasting money on lingerie. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The Sex Files: Why you need to stop buying lingerie

4 Sep, 2018 1:52pm
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling says it's time you stopped wasting your money on fancy underwear.

Not only did being unable to drink feel punitive, I missed out on the connections I normally have when socialising with my usual pot-valiance. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: The problem with an alcohol-free holiday

4 Sep, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Comment: Travelling in a dry country makes for dry chat too, writes Lee Suckling.

Have you had an STI check lately? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Be aware of these STIs in Auckland and Wellington

29 Aug, 2018 7:05am
4 minutes to read

As Auckland and Wellington record year-on-year highs, here's what you need to know.

I want to own a nice couch, some designer clothing, and maintain pristine white walls in my house. I fear that this is all too much to ask, if I were a parent. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: I don't want children - anymore

28 Aug, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

"I used to want kids but now I don't." Lee Suckling on why it's okay to change your mind.

From the way you present your bedroom to what not to say, these are five things to avoid. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: Five major turnoffs in the bedroom

22 Aug, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

The Sex Files: Lee Suckling's list of the worst things you can do to put someone off.

Middle-class recreational drug use has a dirtier side to it that we don't think about, simply because we don't have to. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Dirty side of middle-class Kiwis' casual drug use

21 Aug, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

COMMENT: Lee Suckling explains the dirty side to your part-time habit.

If you're curious about first-time orgies and other kinds of group sex, I do recommend you know everybody involved. Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

How many people make an orgy?

15 Aug, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

A good orgy, writes Lee Suckling, needs an organiser; a ringleader of sorts.

What etiquette is there concerning personal music in public situations? Can I avoid being a dickhead and still listen out loud? Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

Is this 'annoying' habit making you look obnoxious?

14 Aug, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling: "What etiquette is there concerning personal music in public situations?"

Lee Suckling loathes being asked this one very personal question. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The sex position question you should stop asking

8 Aug, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Lee Suckling loathes being asked this question. Here's why you shouldn't ask it.

When the people we love pour their hearts out to us, some of the worst things we can say to them include statements such as,

LIFESTYLE

Do you invalidate people's feelings?

7 Aug, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

'It could be worse,' isn't what someone who's confided in you probably wants to hear.

Participants in this year's Auckland Pride Parade. The city's sheer size offers a plethora of dating options for the LGBT community, says Lee Suckling. Photo / Herald on Sunday

LIFESTYLE

Auckland v Wellington: Which gay scene is better?

1 Aug, 2018 7:00am
5 minutes to read

Lee Suckling compares the two cities' pros and cons, from an LGBT perspective.

Would we be better off if we didn't know when the next train was coming? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Is having too much control over your life a bad thing?

31 Jul, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

"Imagine having the ability to accept nothing will go to plan, but figure it out anyway?"

Whether you're single or in a relationship, getting back into sex after a period without it requires effort. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The Sex Files: How to get over a dry spell

25 Jul, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Whether it's been a month or a year, Lee Suckling shares how to get back in the saddle.

A three-person relationship comes with its own set of complications. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Throuples: What it's really like to be in a polygamous relationship

27 Jun, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling delves into territory on the polyamorous scale.

The misconception is that others will think we don't have full control of our bodily functions. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Bodily function we shouldn't be ashamed of

26 Jun, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

After trying to cover up this bodily function, Lee Suckling asks why it's so embarrassing?

LIFESTYLE

It's time to get over our big penis culture

20 Jun, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

I'm admitting my own penis size because, guys. it's okay to talk about your junk.

A $16 haircut and a generous $5 tip left Lee Suckling feeling scammed. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The other type of scammer you need to watch out for

19 Jun, 2018 7:01am
4 minutes to read

You may think you're attune to scammers but have you ever been conned like this?

Perhaps if I start reading he'll get the idea and take off. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How to ask someone to leave after sex

12 Jun, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Whatever your gender, how do you ask someone to leave without seeming like, well, a dick?

The assumption is that if men want sex all the time, and you're a man whose preference is men, surely any man will do and there's a smorgasbord of sexual opportunities out there for you. Photo / Getty Images

Comment: What everyone wants to know about gay men

10 Jun, 2018 3:04pm
4 minutes to read

This is for the curious, open-minded, but misinformed heterosexuals, writes Lee Suckling.

LIFESTYLE

The question everyone wants to ask about gay men

8 Jun, 2018 8:19am
4 minutes to read

This is for the curious, open-minded, but misinformed heterosexuals, writes Lee Suckling.

In 2018 we're getting lost in this sea of technicolour. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: Are Kiwi men being conned by fashion?

6 Jun, 2018 10:47am
3 minutes to read

As fashion consumers, we are being convinced these clothes are a good idea. They're not.

When you're going on a date, should you utilise these sorts of garments and accentuate your body, and is there any dishonesty in that? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The sex files: Is this underwear wrong for a first date?

1 Jun, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Getting dressed for a first date? Is it wrong to wear 'body-enhancing' underwear?

Is there not a more flattering option than the current styles of pyjamas? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The problem with your winter pyjamas

29 May, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

It's officially pyjama season and Lee Suckling is not happy about it - here's why.

By ditching one of these items your daily commute could become a whole lot better, says Lee Suckling. Image / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The item you need to stop wearing in public

24 May, 2018 9:14am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling has a big problem with how attached we all are to wearing these in public.

Instagram could be the key to finding the love of your life. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why Instagram is the new Tinder

22 May, 2018 9:06am
5 minutes to read

Lee Suckling on why dating apps are a waste of time and Instagram is the place for love.

Generally, those who go to a sex party are all up for a similar experience and have mutual fetishes. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: The truth about sex parties

18 May, 2018 9:46am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling details what really happens.

I realise I'm starting to sound like a white male privilege apologist here. Nevertheless, I come at this from a position of non-privilege. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Do you realise how privileged you are?

16 May, 2018 1:17pm
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling on privilege among those who don't yet understand it.

So many external factors can trump one's interest in sex. Here are some of my libido killers. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What kills a sex columnist's libido?

10 May, 2018 7:22am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling reveals what hinders his own sex drive. Is it any different to your own?

Debrett's, the world's trusted source on social etiquette and behaviour, actually provides us with a good set of rules for vapers. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: The problem with men who vape

8 May, 2018 9:36am
3 minutes to read

Lee Suckling on why men need an etiqutte lesson when it comes to vaping.

Keeping warm and happy can be near impossible tasks come winter time. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: How I'm going to survive winter

4 May, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Here come cold days, a flat social life and weight gain. But Lee Suckling has a plan.

There are groups of people that believe the myth they're not at risk with unprotected sex. This is a lie. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: You're using condoms wrong

30 Apr, 2018 7:00am
5 minutes to read

Explicit content: Lee Suckling explains the "right" and "wrong" ways to use a condom.

I was knowledgeable that he was not single when we met, and bought into his trick of explaining his existing relationship was already on the rocks. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How I learned I was dating a serial cheater

19 Apr, 2018 8:53am
4 minutes to read

Speaking from experience, these are the signs to look out for.

A model on the runway at Arab Fashion Week in Riyadh. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why 'revealing' fashion is coming to an end

17 Apr, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

As Saudi Arabia hosts its first Arab Fashion Week, style is covering up in the West too.

Do you often get disheartened when people let you down? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What to do when someone disappoints you

13 Apr, 2018 7:20am
4 minutes to read

We all have that one friend who's constantly bailing on plans. Here's how to deal with it.

Sleeping man set. Many views of sleep. Front, side, rear, top. lie on the tummy, Sleep on one's side, lie supine, Various gestures. cartoon of male guy in pajamas. Vector illustrations isolated

LIFESTYLE

How more sleep has changed my life

6 Apr, 2018 7:00am
5 minutes to read

Lee Suckling: Miraculous changes I've seen since getting eight hours of shut eye a night.

As a gay man, I'm used to this kind of behaviour being chastised as the pejorative. I grew up in a world where boys and men exclaimed

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: Are Kiwis becoming more 'homosocial'?

4 Apr, 2018 8:31am
4 minutes to read

Comment: Is the toxicity of modern masculinity slowly fading in New Zealand?

In movie sex, there are never any problems making it happen: everybody clicks together like Lego pieces. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The lies Hollywood tells us about sex

30 Mar, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Sex is not as easy as it is in movies. Lee Suckling explains what Hollywood gets wrong.

LIFESTYLE

What sexual dreams really reveal about you

22 Mar, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling: Is your subconscious alerting you to unfulfilled desires?

When it comes to role-playing via Xbox, I want to be Lara Croft, not a personality-devoid male soldier from Call Of Duty. Photo / AP

LIFESTYLE

Why I love strong women more than men

21 Mar, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling: "Cooler, faster and smarter than men, these are the women I want to be."

We all know the awkward feeling of having to cancel plans. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The polite way to cancel on someone

14 Mar, 2018 7:26am
4 minutes to read

Cancelling plans can be a tricky business, but Lee Suckling may have mastered the art.

Kim Kardashian is the orginal thirst trapper. She's been trapping for over a decade, in fact. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How to tell if you've been caught in a 'thirst trap'

9 Mar, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

You've probably been trapped today. Lee Suckling chronicles the social media phenomenon.

Costs that you theoretically know about, but never really get full appreciation of until you see the actual bills, add up to making your 30s so expensive.

LIFESTYLE

Revealed: The most expensive year of your life

7 Mar, 2018 7:30am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling reveals the age when finances really start to hurt.

Lee Suckling wants you to push your bedrooom fears aside and enjoy sex. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Sex issues you should never feel bad about

2 Mar, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

It's time to stop judging yourself and have fun in the bedroom, writes Lee Suckling.

Do you find yourself constantly dissatisfied? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Do you suffer from chronic dissatisfaction?

28 Feb, 2018 1:44pm
4 minutes to read

While Instagram may make it tough, Lee Suckling explains how to stop thinking life's lame.

Why are we so attracted to nasty, artificial yellow food? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why you should never eat hot chips again

23 Feb, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling looks at what's really in hot chips and why they shouldn't be called food.

Marriage can be difficult, frustrating, and feel time consuming. But in a good marriage these feelings are acute, not chronic. They're not work. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why a good marriage is not work

21 Feb, 2018 8:11am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling: Our parents tell us a marriage requires work. Here's where they're wrong.

When you first discuss kinks with somebody, you should make the upmost effort to make them feel safe. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How to discuss something kinky with a partner

14 Feb, 2018 8:40am
4 minutes to read

When it comes to explaining desires to partners, many people are too shy.

What's the ideal amount of exercise to get in order to optimise your sex drive? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Is the gym killing your sex drive?

12 Feb, 2018 1:11pm
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling discusses the tipping point in which too much exercise impacts libido.

Just because nobody can see you, or nobody will say anything, doesn't mean littering is permissible. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: I'm ashamed of this dirty Kiwi habit

7 Feb, 2018 12:01pm
4 minutes to read

Dirty Kiwis, you need to change your attitudes, writes Lee Suckling.

A black and white image of a freckled boy looking thoughtfully, down away from the camera.

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: How I learned to like my freckles

2 Feb, 2018 12:05pm
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling: I am one big walking freckle. But I'm not ashamed of them anymore.

What's important in personal grooming is to never leave mess for anybody else. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What you need to know about personal grooming

31 Jan, 2018 11:46am
4 minutes to read

This is the personal grooming etiquette we should all follow, writes Lee Suckling.

Sex toys are stigmatised because we have given them

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: We need to talk about sex toys

26 Jan, 2018 8:16am
5 minutes to read

Lee Suckling discusses why sex toys shouldn't remain taboo in modern society.

Surveys always give us the same most common reasons for divorce: money, family/in-laws, religion, sex, infidelity, and so on. Top of the list is always communication, though. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Lee Suckling: How to avoid Divorce Month

17 Jan, 2018 8:05am
4 minutes to read

Having relationship issues? Use this article as a prompt to help work them out.

How far is too far when it comes to touching? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Do you know what constitutes 'appropriate touching'?

12 Jan, 2018 7:00am
5 minutes to read

Lee Suckling on why 2018 is the year to finally talk about what constitutes inappropriate.

Should we be censoring sexual material from our kids? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How do we shelter kids from sex in the media?

10 Jan, 2018 10:02am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling on why we need to change our tune on trying to censor what our kids see.

One of the things that makes a holiday romance alluring is the time stamp that's on it. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What you need to know about summer romances

8 Jan, 2018 9:07am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling's top tips to stop a summer romance becoming a disastrous affair.

To those Kiwis who are camping this summer, I wish you all the best. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why I don't go camping

5 Jan, 2018 6:00am
4 minutes to read

Here's why Lee Suckling has turned down all his invites to go camping this summer.

It's lying - not infidelity - that rocks a relationship's foundation to the core. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

One thing more important than monogamy

20 Dec, 2017 7:24am
4 minutes to read

Lee Suckling explains why, as we approach 2018, it's time to rethink monogamy.

LIFESTYLE

The problem with being a straight Kiwi man in 2017

15 Dec, 2017 7:03am
4 minutes to read

COMMENT If you fit this description, you probably feel like your identity's under siege.

The more I saw the human form through the eyes of others, the more I thought it was something that couldn't just be bandied about - willy nilly, as it were. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why are Kiwis so afraid of nudity?

13 Dec, 2017 8:45am
4 minutes to read

Naked bodies are never surprising, so why do we still act so shocked when we see them?