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Home / Lifestyle

Lee Suckling: The gender-inclusive greeting you should be using

Lee Suckling
By Lee Suckling
Lee Suckling is a Lifestyle columnist for the NZ Herald.·NZ Herald·
19 Jul, 2022 08:00 PM5 mins to read

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In a world where "PC culture's gone mad", Lee Suckling reveals how you should greet groups of people. Photo / Getty Images

In a world where "PC culture's gone mad", Lee Suckling reveals how you should greet groups of people. Photo / Getty Images

Lee Suckling
Opinion by Lee Suckling
Lee Suckling is a Lifestyle columnist for the NZ Herald.
Learn more

OPINION:

Ever walk into a room full of people and hesitate on how to greet the group properly and inclusively?

Despite many of us putting our pronouns on our email signatures, addressing a group with "hey guys" is probably the most common way of using second person plural pronouns in the modern English language.

Sure, you can say, "hey team", "hi folks", or "hi all", but "hi guys" remains the status quo, both in the workplace and in social situations, when you verbally greet a group.

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When you think about the real meaning of "hey guys", however, it's gendered to include males only. We need to find a more inclusive way forward. Uniquely, in New Zealand we do have "yous" or "youse", but saying that doesn't sound very professional. What should we all go with?

My vote goes to "y'all", as in, "hey y'all!" It's a staple greeting in southern states of the US. Perhaps, to us non-Americans, it sounds affected. As if you're trying to sound like you just got off a horse ranch.

Slate.com writes that all the alternatives fall flat: "Folks -inclusive and warm, but a little affected and forced. Friends - fine in social contexts, strange at work. People - too often pushy and impersonal. Team - its sense of camaraderie wears out with constant use. One might cobble together a mix of pronouns to deploy in different scenarios, but no one term can do it all."

Except I reckon "y'all" - short for you all - can.

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"Hey y'all" is the perfect solution for addressing a mixed-sex group of individuals and makes sure they all feel seen. I'm sure there are many women, trans and non-binary people out there who don't mind "hey guys" because it's so commonplace that we don't think of it as exclusionary.

But it is: it's talking to a group of men, making assumptions, and marginalising minorities. It neutralises women; it makes men the default. Similar to when people used "he" as the generic pronoun when sex was not specified (once common in the likes of old medical and academic writing). None of this is okay in 2022.

"Hey guys" is sexist and makes you sound like a bro. As if "duuuuude" will be the next way you address someone. Unless you're Keanu Reeves, own a surfboard and still live in 1989, it's time to move on. While we have become accustomed to being sensitive around pronouns and people's preferences (even grammar sticklers are getting on board with "they/them" for a singular person), guys remains a catch-all.

Lee Suckling offers a group greeting that you can use in the workplace and in social situations. Photo / Supplied
Lee Suckling offers a group greeting that you can use in the workplace and in social situations. Photo / Supplied

Grammarist provides a guide to using

y'all

.

Importantly, "Although y'all is considered informal, it is not a substandard word, nor is it a sign of illiteracy or poor education," it affirms.

"If you do use y'all, make sure the apostrophe comes after the y. Y'all is a common misspelling. And when quoting speech, don't be afraid to use y'all when that's what the speaker says. There's no need to turn it into you all."

Yet confidently using y'all with a Kiwi accent isn't natural. If you're not Matthew McConaughey or Britney Spears, it doesn't roll off the tongue. It can make you feel like an imposter, even. Somebody who fetishises the American South.

Therefore, we must adopt y'all with confidence. Perhaps first in emails, then in real life as we become accustomed to it. While informal, y'all can indeed be used professionally. Maybe not in a job interview, but certainly in informal communication with your colleagues.

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As for personal situations, I'm going for gold saying "hey y'all" when I see my friends. I have many non-male-identifying people in my circle and it's time for me to stop leaving them out when I walk into a room. Will I sound like Dolly Parton? Perhaps. Do I take any issue with that? No way - Dolly is a boss. She has been a champion of women and queer rights for decades, so I have no problem being associated with her.

I can't end this pledge without proactively addressing the "PC culture gone mad" debate I know this column will endure. However, per The Diversity Movement, I believe inclusive language like y'all is not the same as being politically correct.

"Political correctness is focused on not offending whereas inclusive language is focused on honouring people's identities," the advocacy group says. "While both inclusive language and political correctness certainly posit that there are certain things you should not say, political correctness can create discomfort, which prevents people from engaging. On the other hand, inclusive language allows for more flexibility and connectedness. It is focused on education, dialogue, and naming people in accordance with their personal identities."

The use of y'all is meant to allow all people to engage and make everyone in a room feel seen. Unless you're down with active exclusion amongst the people in your life, there's no harm in trying to incorporate it into your speech and writing. So c'mon, y'all. We can do this.

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