Saturday, 09 December 2023
KaitaiaWhangareiDargavilleAucklandThamesTaurangaHamiltonWhakataneRotoruaTokoroaTe KuitiTaumarunuiTaupoGisborneNew PlymouthNapierHastingsDannevirkeWhanganuiPalmerston NorthLevinParaparaumuMastertonWellingtonMotuekaNelsonBlenheimWestportReeftonKaikouraGreymouthHokitikaChristchurchAshburtonTimaruWanakaOamaruQueenstownDunedinGoreInvercargill
NZ HeraldThe Northern AdvocateThe Northland AgeThe AucklanderWaikato HeraldBay Of Plenty TimesRotorua Daily PostHawke's Bay TodayWhanganui ChronicleThe Stratford PressManawatu GuardianKapiti NewsHorowhenua ChronicleTe Awamutu CourierVivaEat WellOneRoofDRIVEN Car GuideThe CountryPhoto SalesiHeart RadioRestaurant Hub
Voyager 2023 media awards
Subscribe
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Kyle MacDonald: How to stop overthinking things

Kyle MacDonald
By
Kyle MacDonald
3 Aug, 2016 11:00 PM3 mins to read
Saveshare

Share this article

facebookcopy linktwitterlinkedinredditemail
Saying "you think too much" is never a helpful thing to tell someone who is depressed, it's largely true. Image / NZ Herald

Saying "you think too much" is never a helpful thing to tell someone who is depressed, it's largely true. Image / NZ Herald

How can you handle the amount of internal dialogue that is normally part of the anxiety and depression thinking cycle? Overthinker.

I remember an old saying, that "talking to yourself is the first sign of madness." Personally I find it's the only way to guarantee intelligent conversation. Either way, we may not all do it out loud, but in our own heads we all talk to ourselves.

Therapists have a great way of making up labels that state the obvious: In this case, we call it "self talk". It's that burble of chatter that's going on inside our head whether we're aware of it or not. When I was trained we would talk about the "tape" in your head, but these days we should probably describe it as the "playlist".

So it's human and normal. But what is it that you say to yourself, and how do you say it?

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

The way we talk to ourselves, kindly or not, defines the quality of the relationship we have with ourselves. At the risk of getting too philosophical, it is us. But for people who suffer from depression and anxiety this dialogue can feel like a runaway train of fear and self hate.

We call this "rumination".

So while saying "you think too much" is never a helpful thing to tell someone who is depressed, it's largely true.

In depressed people the parts of the brain responsible for emotions, "cognition" (or thinking) and rumination specifically, have more connections to each other than normal: emotions trigger repetitive, runaway thinking.

• Questions will remain anonymous

Once again, pointing out the obvious, at least to anyone who has experienced depressive rumination.

Related articles

Lifestyle

What's so great about mindfulness?

24 Dec 06:00 PM
Lifestyle

Kyle MacDonald: How to identify signs of depression

10 Mar 03:00 AM
Lifestyle

How to help someone with depression

26 Dec 06:00 PM
Lifestyle

How to show more empathy to your partner

14 Apr 03:10 AM

But here's the really interesting bit. As little as eight weeks of mindfulness meditation, twenty minutes a day, decreases the density of the brains connections between thinking and emotions.

It literally quiets the mind.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

When we engage in mindfulness it doesn't magically change what we think about, and it certainly doesn't make everything positive all of a sudden.

It unplugs our thinking from our feelings. Over time, as we get distance between our thoughts and feelings, we can better think about what we feel, describe what our emotions are, and increasingly choose which thoughts and feelings we pay attention.

We get back in control of the train. And we can even change the conversation we have with ourselves, to one that guarantees not so much intelligent conversation, but a kind and supportive one.

• Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter

Where to get help:

• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
• Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• Living sober
• Youth services: (06) 3555 906 (Palmerston North and Levin)
• Youthline: 0800 376 633
• Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7)
• Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (available 24/7)
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Follow Kyle on Facebook and check out his website here.
Saveshare

Share this article

facebookcopy linktwitterlinkedinredditemail
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
Lifestyle

Whalebones, bikinis and a throne: New Zealand design history in 110 chairs

08 Dec 04:00 PM
Premium
Lifestyle

A Kiwi ranger's quest for wild tigers comes to life

08 Dec 04:00 PM
New Zealand

Winning wildlife shots go on show at museum

08 Dec 04:00 PM
Lifestyle

Can you work it out? Year 1 homework stumps internet

08 Dec 03:02 AM

If you’re doing any of these, no wonder you’re not sleeping well

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
Whalebones, bikinis and a throne: New Zealand design history in 110 chairs

Whalebones, bikinis and a throne: New Zealand design history in 110 chairs

08 Dec 04:00 PM

New exhibition reveals curious tales of 110 chairs from NZ's history.

Premium
A Kiwi ranger's quest for wild tigers comes to life

A Kiwi ranger's quest for wild tigers comes to life

08 Dec 04:00 PM
Winning wildlife shots go on show at museum

Winning wildlife shots go on show at museum

08 Dec 04:00 PM
Can you work it out? Year 1 homework stumps internet

Can you work it out? Year 1 homework stumps internet

08 Dec 03:02 AM
A different kind of board meeting
sponsored

A different kind of board meeting

About NZMEHelp & SupportContact UsSubscribe to NZ HeraldHouse Rules
Manage Your Print SubscriptionNZ Herald E-EditionAdvertise with NZMEBook Your AdPrivacy Policy
Terms of UseCompetition Terms & ConditionsSubscriptions Terms & Conditions
© Copyright 2023 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP