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Home / Lifestyle

<i>Fiona Rae:</i> Ten ways for Mike to be more like Dave

4 Nov, 2003 11:44 PM3 mins to read

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Did you hear the one about the really offensive comedian? They gave him his own show! Ahaaaa ... classic, as Mikey Havoc used to say.

I have tried, you know. I have found many — okay, a couple — of things about Mike King Tonight to like. I have even laughed
out loud on occasion.

King has a welcome amount of irreverence. More Kiwi than You Frankie Foo and Tama Iti Radical for Hire are good things. I especially like Wu Tang Gran — four grans getting a hip-hop makeover in the Dawn Raid shop, learning a few rhymes and some valuable life lessons, such as "We don't hug — we gangstas!" (this said by one of the makeover guys when a granny went to thank him).

King is totally upfront about the show's use of The Late Show with David Letterman format, down to the microphone on the desk. This is not a bad thing and last week's guest Phil Keoghan, who presents reality show The Amazing Race, agreed: "I think you've ripped it off really well!" The interviews with Keoghan and Simone Kessell were good, except when King asked them about money.

But like an overexcited kid, King has to go and spoil things. He just can't help himself. Whether it's Alannah Currie's or, well, anyone's, he has to resort to lowest-common denominator jokes about a certain part of the female anatomy. It's so bad, I'm beginning to get offended on Nicky Watson's behalf — and that just isn't right.

If he isn't finding endless amusement with women's natural (or otherwise) assets, he's making inflated assessments of his own, er, manly profile — and that's when I'm hitting the button and heading for the shower. Ewww.

I don't have a problem with the show being a copy of Letterman; it's worked for Dave (and Conan and Leno) for a long time.

In fact, I think King should be even more like Letterman — Dave would never make those kind of jokes. I can think of at least 10 reasons, so ladies and gentlemen, in the spirit of Dave, here's The Top 10 Reasons Mike King Tonight Should Be More Like The Late Show With David Letterman:

10. Dave Letterman cannot bring himself to say the word penis, let alone describe his "thing" as a "monster".

9. Dave Letterman likes blowing stuff up. (Okay, to be fair, Mike King might like to as well but probably doesn't have the budget — and did you see that half-tonne pumpkin being blown to smithereens on Letterman?)

8. Dave Letterman is allowed to interview stars from other networks.

7. If you said "big boys" to Dave Letterman he would probably think you were talking about US Marines or a super-sized soft drink, not Simone Kessell's frontage.

6. Dave Letterman can make stuff sound funny, even when it's not.

5. People really like Dave Letterman.

4. Dave Letterman's likeable, self-deprecating charm has kept him on air for nearly 23 years.

3. Dave Letterman's favourite billboard isn't the four-breasted MadGE woman.

2. Dave Letterman had the D4 on.

1. Dave Letterman does not know Nicky Watson's bra size.

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