Mental performance coach David Niethe has worked with world-class athletes like golfer Dame Lydia Ko and MMA fighter Israel Adesanya, but says his struggle with school and bullying first pushed his self-image into the ground.
He likes to challenge people to consider what they coulddo in life if they knew you could not fail, and has written about his coaching approach in his book The Winning Mindset.
Niethe told Susana Lei’ataua being the victim of bullying at school provoked him to try to become “the biggest strongest version” of himself he could.
He was only diagnosed as dyslexic later on in life, and said that meant school was tough.
“I really struggled to read and write in school, and ... part of that is that you start creating a narrative and a self-image attached to all that sort of feedback that you get, that you’re not that bright. And so in that sense, it starts to limit your model of the world, and you start adjusting your thoughts, your visions, your goals around that.
“And so I was kind of just happy to have a job, so I went into printing because my old man was a printer – and I spent eight years miserable in that job, but the only thing that really kept me going, the motivation, was sport and weight training. That was my passion, and that evolved.”
A novel gifted to him, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, struck a chord and planted the idea that “as an individual, you’re the most important project you’ll ever work on”, he said.
“I resonated with him – not wanting to be part of the flock, but to become, you know, ultimately for him, the best version of himself, the fastest seagull ever.
“That motivated me, and I thought, ‘You know, I’m Jonathan, but I want to be the strongest version of me’.”
Niethe said people who coached him and were mentors in the powerlifting and strongman communities helped him begin to take bigger steps.
“These guys demanded a lot from me.
“They affirmed the fact that it was possible for me to continue to become the best version of myself, to get stronger and stronger.”
However, Niethe came to the conclusion many of those competing in powerlifting and strongman sports were taking performance-enhancing drugs like steroids.
“If I’m going to compete with these guys, I’m not going to be the guy to bitch and moan that they’re on drugs – I’ve made the decision to compete. So I realised then that I had to find an avenue that helped level that playing ground.
He began to see self-awareness and self-accountability as key, what in neurolinguistics is called “congruence” – walking the walk, not just talking the talk.
“When you can align both intention and attention, because the bottom line is you behave yourself to success.”
“That is how you build a real, strong self-image ... because you’re not false, you’re not bulls***ting people.”
Niethe challenged Ko to set specific goals and focus on them. Photo / Getty Images
Ko was 8 years old when Niethe began working with her.
“You’ve got to appreciate, part of my job is to make myself redundant, right? That’s when I know I’ve done a good job. The timeframes are different for each person.”
He challenged her to set specific goals and focus on them.
“She came back with the Golf Digest magazine, [featuring an image of] Annika Sorenstam holding the US Open cup, and then Lydia chopped her head off and put her own head on top of that – so she was clear on her vision, she had a sense of purpose.”
Niethe believes children, as well as adults, should be encouraged to think about their dreams and to create firm goals.
“I challenge people to dare to dream. You know, we put these limiting beliefs [on ourselves].
“I believe we’re thrown into this world: we don’t get to choose our circumstances. We don’t get to choose who our parents are, what year we’re born and we die. Now, in that timeframe, I truly believe that we have a responsibility to ourselves to become the best possible version of ourselves – and that’s on a continuation, right, so you never truly articulate it, or achieve it, but it’s the pursuit of that.
“And it’s the pursuit of that [which] gives you a real sense of satisfaction.
“This is what Carl Jung said: ‘Where fear lies, there lies your task’, and it’s about the overcoming.
“When you can overcome the narrative, the self-talk, the limiting beliefs, it puts you in a place of absolute bliss ... Start with the end in mind.”
Niethe recommends sitting quietly, thinking about what you want and being honest with yourself about your abilities and habits. Photo / 123RF
Steps which can help you toward your goal
Niethe recommends people take some time out to sit quietly, think about what they want, and be honest with themselves about their abilities and habits.
“Remember, you cannot change anything you don’t first acknowledge.
“For instance: I want to go to the gym, but I’m not going to the gym. Then thinking about what it is that motivates you –what does make you want to go to the gym?”
The next step is to examine your self-limiting ideas, he said. Diarise some of these thoughts, identify language about how you’re not deserving, and then changing it with verbal affirmations, because: “Any thought that I continuously hold in my mind will then seek expression through some practical means.”
Niethe also recommends making use of a support network of people to hold you to account.
“People put more time and effort into creative excuse-making than getting off their a***. But there’s no easy path here. You have to take some level of responsibility to step up.
“I can’t guarantee that you’re going to achieve ... but we can improve the possibility and probability. Anyone can do this.”
