Frasier pair stay loveless in Seattle

By EWAN McDONALD

Daphne: Let's get this bloody boat moving!

Niles: What - you mean now?

Daphne: There's about a hundred people back there I'm not so keen on seeing.

Niles: All right, let's go, then. Fasten your seatbelt, Daphne.

Daphne, with a big smile: Fasten yours, Niles.

The eighth series of Frasier begins there, where the last left off - Niles and Daphne escaping from her wedding to Donny in Martin Crane's Winnebago campervan.

First decision for the fleeing couple, even before they requite what's been serially unrequited for seven years: do they head back home to Seattle or away to Canada?

Just to recap, the cliffhanger ending of the previous series left viewers with one ex-wife, Mel, and one jilted groom, Donny, both abandoned by the starry-eyed would-be lovers, Niles and Daphne; Frasier, the compulsively interfering psychiatrist, and his crotchety father, Martin; Roz, Frasier's compulsively nymphomaniac producer; and Daphne's lager-lout brother, Simon Moon.

Enough material there to keep a convention of writers one-lining for several more seasons.

But for this fan - and, one suspects, many other viewers who've been addicted to this slickest, most sophisticated and witty of sitcoms since the portly shrink waddled out of the Cheers bar almost a decade ago - there are issues to be dealt with.

Perhaps the first is surprise that Frasier has survived for so long.

The show's unique combination of the brothers' rivalry, their tetchy relationship with their father, snobbishness, pomposity and relentless, recurring comeuppance has been finely tuned by an outstanding ensemble cast, dominated by Kelsey Grammer and his marvellous foil, David Hyde Pierce.

In modern television, however, that is not enough. Nor is the most finely crafted, honed and polished script on the small screen.

Devotees of Frasier are a different demographic from mainstream television viewers.

They - all right, we - are nauseated by the love-me-I'm-so-cute simpering of Friends or Mad About You.

We know Dr Frasier Crane might start every show with "Hello Seattle, I'm listening" but, when it comes to his own life and relationships, isn't.

We like Frasier's dad making him look ridiculous and his brother pricking his balloon.

The major flaw in the new series, however, is that in allowing Niles and Daphne to get together, the Frasier crew may have ruined the richest storyline - and source of one-liners - in television: long-running sexual tension, verging on obsession (on his part) and complete ignorance of the other's existence (on hers).

Niles: Is it possible Daphne has feelings for me?

Frasier: No.

Niles: Well, at least you've considered it from all angles.

Frasier viewers know that Niles cannot, should not get Daphne, just as Frasier and Roz can never get together. Frasier and Niles must marry and divorce a Maris (Niles' invisible, nut-cracking ex-wife) and a Lillith (Frasier's ditto, but occasionally visible) - women who dominate their ex-husbands intellectually, physically, and emotionally.

Perhaps, despite Grammer now earning the biggest paypacket in the business, the series has slipped into a gentle decline. When it comes to the radio station that was the original focus, Frasier has all but left the building.

The cast are more in Cafe Nervosa or the 19th-storey apartment in the Elliot Bay Towers. Bulldog and Gil Chesterton, two marvellous cameos, are rarely seen.

Devotees will continue to enjoy the show, as many of the same people did in the last seasons of Seinfeld, motivated by nostalgia rather than the present mood.

So which way does Niles steer the Winnebago?

Daphne: "What's left for us in Seattle - ex-wives and ex-fiances. A tangled mess of bitterness and hurt feeling."

Niles: "Yes, but an excellent symphony and world class dining."

* The Frasier Hour TV2, 9.30 pm