Australia's highest-paid escort Samantha X has opened up about her past substance abuse – telling Stellar she "prays to God every day".
A little over nine months ago, Samantha X was "the ultimate party girl" – willingly taking on the role as the "fun one" at every event she was invited to.
But it came with a price.
Constantly blacking out at parties, sending her children to school in Ubers and having to make countless apology calls for her behaviour led the former high-class escort to take stock and change her ways.
Now, in a shock to even herself, she has a new-found faith in God.
"I was the ultimate party girl and now I've become one of those sparkly eyed,
happy-clappy people," Samantha, 45, told Stellar in an interview published today.
"I've never believed in God. But I pray now. My daughter said, 'You know those people you make fun of? You've become one of them'," she joked.
Divorced mother-of-two Amanda Goff – who decided to become a high-class call girl named Samantha X at the age of 37 – has opened up about her battle with substance abuse over the past seven years.
"I felt weak and worthless," she told the publication. "And like at any moment, someone was going to work out I was a fraud."
Samantha, who split from Channel 7 newsreader Ryan Phelan last year, said it was her "double life" as a journalist by day and callgirl by night that led her to develop a complex relationship with alcohol.
She also pointed out that going from spending time with men who would fork out thousands for her time, to dating men for romance, left her feeling lost and in need of something to numb the pain.
"Life was becoming unmanageable," Samantha said, adding that it was her behaviour in social situations that was the biggest issue.
"I felt I had a role to play as the fun, exciting one. I was embarrassing.
"I did inappropriate things. Then I'd wake up feeling really dark the next day," she said.
"I'd hit rock bottom. It wasn't catastrophic; I didn't lose anything. But I guess I was a high functioning, spiritually dead person."
She went on to explain that it was one morning – almost exactly one year ago – that led her to make a change.
While apologising to the host of a party in Sydney over the phone, the woman on the other end of the line said something that led her to reflect.
"She said, 'Your behaviour yesterday was the reason I've been sober for 10 years,'" recalled Samantha. "That was a real light-bulb moment for me."
Taking the advice, she promptly joined her local Alcoholics Anonymous program and made a promise to herself to stick at it.
Since then, she's turned to God.
"If I didn't go, I knew how the story was going to end. I had visions of me being found dead in a hotel room. I was just always surprised when I wasn't," she said.
"I identified my issue and found faith. God did for me what I couldn't do for myself."
Samantha went on to explain to Stellar that the reason she turned to escorting eight years ago was because she had a "disconnection" from herself that stemmed from childhood.
She no longer works as an escort, but wants the public to know it wasn't because it was "disempowering" in any way.
"I love what I did, but once I sobered up, I felt like I'm worthy of a bit more. I always thought someone was going to come rescue me," Samantha said.
"But no-one is. No man. No amount of money. It has to come from within."
Samantha – who still runs an escort agency, has written two books and is a regular news.com.au columnist – has now shifted her focus to counselling for relationships and substance abuse.
"It's really scary because when I was Samantha, I was making great money and now it's not coming in," she said. "But I have faith that I will be looked after.
"I'm just so grateful that woman told me she had nothing but compassion for me. Because she saved my life."