OPINION:
The Queen is not a woman who shies away from a challenge.
During World War II she became the first female member of the royal family to join the armed services full-time, training as a truck mechanic for the Auxiliary Territorial Service. In the '60s she embraced the turban and, albeit briefly, the power of reality TV.
And then, at a point when most people in their mid-80s are doing crozzles and wondering if it's too early in a day for a sherry, she took up something of a comedy career. In 2012 she very pluckily starred in a skit for the opening ceremony of the London Olympics alongside Daniel Craig as James Bond, pretending to parachute into the stadium.
Then in 2016 she again agreed to another star turn in front of the camera, sharing the screen with her grandson Prince Harry and then US president and first lady, Barack and Michelle Obama, ahead of the Invictus Games.
It was all such jolly good fun! What a jape!
Looking back, that video with Her Majesty and her droll delivery of the line, "Oh please," was the high water mark in the relationship between the sovereign and Harry. The genuine affection and pride she felt in his achievements was heartwarmingly apparent. Maybe the world's most famously dysfunctional family had turned a corner!
Boy, that optimistic notion has aged badly, hasn't it?
Over the weekend, a spokesman for Harry confirmed that he would not be attending the memorial service for his grandfather Prince Philip which will be held at Westminster Abbey on March 29. While no reason was given, it has been widely reported that his ongoing fight with the UK's Home Office over his security arrangements while in Britain played a part.
What a d**k move.
Last weekend Harry managed to inexplicably get himself to a rodeo in Texas while he and his wife Meghan, Duchess of Sussex have also, over the last six months made two trips to New York. And in April, he will jet to the Netherlands for the Invictus Games.
Yet, he can't make it back to London for such an important family event?
While last year the Duke of Sussex made lightning visits to Blighty, first for Philip's funeral and then for the unveiling of the statue of Diana, Princess of Wales which he and brother Prince William had previously commissioned, this time he can't or won't make the trip back across the pond.
Even the most charitable reading here would see this as a snub of the Queen at what has to be one of the lowest points of her reign.
The 95-year-old has had a truly woeful 12 months.
She lost her husband of 72 years with the pandemic – meaning she had to sit through his funeral service horribly alone.
She was hospitalised in October and her ongoing health woes meant she had to pull out of the Cop26 climate conference and the Remembrance Day ceremony at the Cenotaph at the last minute. Also over the weekend it was announced she would be missing this week's Commonwealth Day service.
She has also contracted Covid, dealt with the sordid debacle around her son Prince Andrew and dozens of her swans have died this year.
Behind the scenes, last year she was forced to give up her nightly tipple on doctor's orders and has not been able to ride her beloved Fell ponies for months. On Sunday, The Sun reported that she is no longer able to walk her two corgis and one dorgi, and hasn't been able to do so for nearly six months.
While it's impossible to imagine that the sovereign would resort to such a base move as resorting to expletives, I have no such compunction. She's had a f***ing hard time of it of late.
Still, the bad news keeps coming. The Mail on Sunday has reported that she could also be forced to skip the service for Philip because of her mobility problems. (During recent appearances she has been seen walking with a cane and during an audience last month with top military brass she quipped, "Well as you can see, I can't move.")
While Her Majesty's spirit and commitment to the job remain as unflagging as ever, clearly her advanced age is catching up with her.
So, is Harry rallying to her side? Doing his bit to support her, no matter his various beefs with the palace?
I think you know the answer.
Last year, Harry and Meghan both told Oprah Winfrey how much they respected Her Majesty, with him protesting, "I've never blindsided my grandmother. I have too much respect for her."
At another point he said: "My grandmother and I have a really good relationship … I have a deep respect for her. She's my Colonel-In-Chief, right? She always will be."
Harry clearly has a strange way of showing it.
If he had made the decision to attend the service, it would have been a powerful gesture to the Queen, both publicly and privately. The message would have been, as a loving grandson, who not only adores Her Majesty but adored his grandfather too, he was willing to put all other considerations aside to be there at such a poignant moment.
He is being given a chance to put that vaunted estimation for his grandmother into action. And yet he will instead be 8500km away in California.
So, what of the Duke's security concerns? Shaheed Fatima, representing Harry, has told a London court: "It goes without saying that he does want to come back to see family and friends and to continue to support the charities that are so close to his heart. Most of all, this is and always will be his home."
But, let's break the situation down a bit.
The Westminster Abbey guest list will include a future king and queen, the Queen's entire family, the King and Queen of Sweden, and UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson. Could there be a more secure location on that day than inside the Abbey?
Likewise, not one photo of the Sussexes' UK home, Frogmore Cottage, has ever been published since they moved in 2019, which would suggest particularly tight security is in place there too – and to this day, now that it is home to Princess Eugenie and her family. Even if this property was considered too much of a risk, surely the Queen could find room for him somewhere in the 1000-room castle where she now lives and which is just up the road. ('Get out the trundle Perkins, One's grandson is coming to stay.')
All that would leave is the journey from the airport to Windsor, Windsor to London and London back to the airport "unprotected". Are the security threats against him truly so grave that he could not brave a few hours in a hulking Range Rover surrounded by his retinue of American bodyguards?
This is Berkshire we're talking about, not Basra. If he went back, he would be facing Piers Morgan's withering column inches, not mortar rounds.
Missing the service could also worsen family tensions, according to The Sun.
"It is such a shame that he will miss his grandfather's memorial service. It was supposed to be a time for the family to all come together to remember a great man," a source told the newspaper. "It was also hoped that the Queen would meet his daughter Lilibet for the first time and that would make it even more of a special occasion.
"Now none of that will go ahead – yet he is willing to travel to Holland for the Invictus Games, which is only 300 miles [480km] away.
"It will certainly raise eyebrows and most probably hurt feelings."
Harry may still see his grandmother at some point. According to reports out of London, the 37-year-old is planning on visiting the UK, possibly with Meghan and their two children. But, as ITV's royal editor Chris Ship tweeted: "His office doesn't say when that will be." One possibility is that he could travel to the UK when he is in Europe next month.
As lovely as it would be for the Queen to meet her namesake great-granddaughter and see Archie for the first time since 2019, that won't make up for his absence in Westminster Abbey.
In the years since Megxit, on so many occasions, when Harry has popped up on video screens, you know, the sort of outings that are littered with words like "impactful" and "journey," he has come across as a man still searching for peace, even after everything. Maybe, just maybe, the way to find that is not more time in his meditation yurt or extra kundalini yoga sessions or dutifully filling out his dream journal, but to sit a pew in the 750-year-old Abbey, surrounded by his family. Just maybe.
• Daniela Elser is a royal expert and a writer with more than 15 years experience working with a number of Australia's leading media titles.
New York Times: Are privacy screens ruining the joy of reading over a stranger's shoulder?