The Queen is said to have invited Meghan and Harry to Balmoral. Photo / AP
The Queen is said to have invited Meghan and Harry to Balmoral. Photo / AP
OPINION:
Question: What do you think the Queen usually reads on her long summer break? The collected works of Dick Francis? The newest saucy Sally Rooney? The private letters of Elizabeth I scratched out in quill on vellum? (Oh those Spanish! Their attempts at invading England are always good fora chuckle.)
Whatever Her Majesty's normal book fare may be, whatever she might usually grab to while away the hours on a threadbare chintzy sofa as the menfolk terrorise the grouse population, this year she instead might be working her way through the most coveted, talked-about and secretive book on the planet: her grandson Prince Harry's memoirs.
The Sun yesterday reported the title has not only been handed in but the lawyers have "signed off" on the tome, with the publisher Penguin Random House working to have it on shelves in time for the Thanksgiving and Christmas markets.
This is a first for the publishing industry and the royal family given that no blood royal has ever publicly gone full literary turncoat for the better part of a century.
(The Duke of Windsor penned his book 15 years after abdicating and was hardly sensational, Diana, Princess of Wales used intermediaries to help Andrew Morton with his tell-all while Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York's autobiography only came after her unwilling ejection from the royal family.)
Confirmation that Harry's book is forthcoming has made the recent claim the Queen has invited Harry and his wife Meghan, Duchess of Sussex to stay at Balmoral look decidedly dubious.
See, over the weekend the Sun broke the news the Queen has reportedly "held out an olive branch" to the self-exiled duo, including them on the list of family members who are offered the chance to spend a carefully allotted amount of time staying on her Scottish estate.
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Duke and Duchess of Sussex leave after a service of thanksgiving for the reign of Queen Elizabeth II at St Paul's Cathedral in London on June 3. Photo / AP
A Balmoral insider told the paper: "Staff have been told to expect the full list of royals including Harry, Meghan and their children Archie and Lilibet.
"They are preparing for the Sussexes."
(Side note: What do you think "preparing for the Sussexes" means in actual fact? Buying the local Waitrose's supply of almond milk? Conspicuously strewing copies of Brene Brown on side tables? The Queen thoughtfully digging out her still-in-its-plastic 1986 Christmas gift, a VHS copy of Yoga For Beginners, in case they fancy an asana or two?)
At any other time, this holiday invitation would be just another blip on the royal radar but then came this book news.
What you have to understand here is, as the Telegraph has pointed out, "By convention, those potentially defamed in writing – including the royal family – are usually given a right to reply to accusations ahead of publication."
Which is to say, the Queen, Prince Charles, aides, private secretaries, lawyers and all the corgis either have their hands on the manuscript or are about to, a manuscript that could prove devastating for the royal family.
Would Her Majesty really be keen to have the Sussexes to stay if she knew that her summer holiday would coincide with courtiers and QCs getting out their red pencils and scouring every page of Harry's story?
And that in turn calls into question just how plausible the original holiday invitation might really have been.
Ask yourself this: who has the most to gain from the world learning that Her Majesty has been busy extending olive branches and playing peacekeeper like a Ban-ki Moon in priceless pearls?
Queen Elizabeth II attends an armed forces act of loyalty parade in the gardens of the Palace of Holyroodhouse, Edinburgh, on June 28. Photo / AP
The clear beneficiary of this holiday invitation story is the Queen and the Palace who come across looking splendidly magnanimous. Meanwhile, when the Sussexes inevitably fail to turn up, they will look peevish and bolshy, unwilling to accept his Gran's generous offer.
Let's be real: the chances of the Sussexes' merrily fuelling the private jet, loading up their children, staff and enough cashmere jumpers not to freeze to death in a monstrously huge castle, all to spend four days with his family would seem to be extremely small.
Even if the book was not a factor, I find it incredibly hard to believe Harry and Meghan would want to spend time with the same people who less than two months ago humiliated them as the world watched on during the Platinum Jubilee.
Wedging them in the second row at the service of thanksgiving for the Queen and barring them from appearing on the Buckingham Palace balcony with the remaining working members of Windsor Inc. had all the subtlety of an antique partridge fork to the eye.
So, if it is highly unlikely we are going to see Harry and Meghan striding across a moor anytime soon or enjoying a spot of riverside angling (does Hermes even make waders?) because of their bruised egos and his book coming down the pike, then why would someone, somewhere put it about to the press that the Queen has invited them?
What Tuesday's book news does is to expose just how much the Scotland holiday looks like a spot of PR jiu jitsu.
Sadly, there has not been one single teeny tiny indication on either side that anything might be changing when it comes to the trans-Atlantic permafrost that exists between the two contingents.
Here's hoping that, with the Prince's autobiography incoming, not to mention the Sussexes' "at home" docu series and season five of The Crown, the Queen at least gets some sort of chance to recharge and regroup while she rusticates in the far north.
And here's hoping that her lawyers in London have plenty of red pencils on hand because they might be about to need them.
• Daniela Elser is a royal expert and a writer with more than 15 years' experience working with a number of Australia's leading media titles.
