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Daniela Elser: Cambridges v Sussexes - who does empathy better?

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Meghan Markle says motherhood has made her more cautious and courageous, as a leader. Video / Fortune
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By: Daniela Elser

OPINION:

In 2020, a year in which we can safely say the word "unprecedented" has been used with an irritating frequency, there has been one particularly curious, unprecedented royal upside.

The world has been given an unprecedented insight into private royal spaces.

Thanks to the sudden ubiquity of Zoom as part and parcel of everyday life, the royal family has, with impressive digital aplomb, started undertaking video appearances and virtual engagements with a certain 'keep calm and carry on' zeal.

Thanks to this shift, we've seen plenty of the eggshell walls in William and Kate Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's Norfolk home, Anmer Hall; inside various rooms in Prince Charles and Camilla Duchess of Cornwall's book, flower and ornament-stuffed Scottish home Birkhall; and even the ornate interior of Windsor Castle when the Queen took part in her first Zoom call, proving you're never too old to make tech history.

This week, within the space of approximately 24 hours, both William and his brother and sister-in-law Harry and Meghan Duke and Duchess of Sussex popped up on video screens. On the surface, all of this should have been just grist for the royal reporting mill if not for the fact that a very discernible, potentially problematic pattern has started to emerge. And that, that could spell trouble.

Let's rewind.

On Monday, UK-time, William and his taupe palace wall were back, this time speaking to Liverpudlian business owners to discuss issues created by the pandemic. The prince (in the sort of smart blazer I imagine he usually keeps to wear to kickback on his chintz sofa of an evening with a can of lager and the latest edition of Horse and Hound), brow suitably furrowed, asked restaurant owners Natalie Haywood and DJ Yousel Zaher how they were faring.

Of William, Haywood told the Telegraph: "He was very focused on the wellbeing of things and spoke of the mental health catastrophe Britain will face if people aren't allowed to experience social aspects of their lives."

According to the same report, "the Duke was keen to hear how people were coping and what was being done by the Government, even asking what he could do to help".

So far, so diligent and well-meaning.

Next we come to Harry and Meghan who hosted a 90-minute TIME100 Talks summit on social media and the need to create a safer digital world. Speaking to a personally-selected group of stakeholders (let's just embrace West Coast-ese here), Harry said that the world is facing "a global crisis of hate, a global crisis of misinformation, and a global health crisis". Meghan, meanwhile, said that "bad voices" on social media could be "so loud and so damaging".

(Given the world's unremitting, often unrepentant, social media addiction, whether everyday people want to have their digital enslavement pointed out by two people who both say they no longer use it is another question entirely.)

This talk-fest comes after Harry and Meghan, over the last few months, have engaged with (separately or together and among others) Gloria Steinem, Fortune, Time, Fast Company, the Evening Standard newspaper and America's Got Talent.

The common thread: Choosing to interact, nearly solely, with big names or media companies with a huge platform.

(To be fair, out in the real world, they have also taken part in a back-to-school charity drive and visited a Los Angeles preschool on the anniversary of Diana's death, both occasions for which they reportedly bought a photographer with them.)

Contrast that with William and Kate who over a similar time frame have gone to a Norfolk bakery and pub, a garden centre and a London bagel shop to talk about the effects of Covid, along with speaking to a group of new mothers, the staff at an emergency services call centre and (overnight) and Sami Massalami Mohammed Elmassalami Ayad, a Sudanese volunteer whose portrait was selected by Kate as part of her Hold Still photography project.

(The one big exception here: The Cambridges' recent appearance with Sir David Attenborough and William's TED Talk on climate change.)

Here we have one couple choosing high-profile personalities or news outlets that carry global sway and on the other, a couple choosing to spend their working hours talking to decidedly non-famous normals; One seemingly intent on rubbing shoulders with bigwigs versus one undertaking dull but virtuous check-ins with a horde of everyday people, nary an influencer among them.

Prince William and his wife Kate the Duchess of Cambridge meet medical staff as they visit St. Bartholomew's Hospital in London. Photo / AP
Prince William and his wife Kate the Duchess of Cambridge meet medical staff as they visit St. Bartholomew's Hospital in London. Photo / AP

The overall image here is that Harry and Meghan are beavering away on building their activist brand by associating with luminaries while William and Kate are indefatigably getting on with the job of trying to help a beleaguered Britain.

At the heart of all of this is the question of motivation.

Without any shadow of a doubt, both the Sussexes and Cambridges are clearly passionate about making a difference and are fervently committed to using their platforms to make the world a better place.

However, for Harry and Meghan, their recent spate of virtual outings also have a distinctly self-serving tinge to them. Perhaps inadvertently, they have created the impression that they are in the midst of a studied brand building exercise as they work to establish their new Sussex 2.0 identity in the US.

More is at stake than just their humanitarian cred and invitation to next year's Sun Valley conference (AKA 'Billionaire Summer Camp') – their professional futures and money-making capabilities are dependent on them lodging themselves in the upper echelons of the tech, business and humanitarian elites.

It is also worth looking at the substance of what both couples have been talking about.

Because, both Harry and Meghan seem to have spent a considerable amount of time talking about themselves.

Meghan told the Time summit that the couple "know the experience of being a human being and the pain and suffering and joy that has come from this worldwide web".

This screengrab released by Time shows Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, hosting a special Time100 talk. Photo / AP
This screengrab released by Time shows Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, hosting a special Time100 talk. Photo / AP

Earlier this month, she told the hosts of podcast Teenager Therapy that her experience of online trolling was "almost unsurvivable" and that when she made the headline-grabbing comment during a TV interview that "not many people have asked me how I am", she explained this month that "I was in a moment of vulnerability because I was tired".

Harry, during the same podcast episode talked about the power of meditation in his life.

Maybe this is just down to their united adoption of a very Californian, confessional approach to public life, but, intentionally or not, they have a habit of putting themselves at the centre of the narrative.

Back in the UK, while William and Kate do occasionally reveal a tantalising morsel about their family life (such as the fact they made lockdown pasta and had to stop 2-year-old son Prince Louis from "cuddling everything"), by and large they seem to spend a lot of time asking questions and showing off their listening faces.

The thing is, Harry and Meghan might have left the royal family but in their dash to launch their new Stateside persona, the impression, whether accurate or not, is that they seem to have forgotten that a certain selflessness is still a very necessary part of the job still.

I've got one theory why that might be.

It has been reported over the years that the Queen has met more people than any other human on the planet, which is a truly awe-inspiring feat. (Though, spare a thought for how many hundred of thousands of polite, mind-numbingly tedious conversations the poor woman must have had to endure.) Take away all the 24-carat sceptres and trappings of the Crown, and being a senior member of the royal family is all about getting up every morning and doing your darnedest for an often ungrateful nation.

Your job is to try and improve the lot of others while being a tireless cheerleader for the Sovereign and that means (pre-Covid anyway) shaking thousands of hands, accepting an untold number of bouquets and making small talk across the Commonwealth, all while making it looking like you are having a smashing time!

That stands in opposition to the Sussexes' new working model. They are in the midst of publicly defining the issues and causes they want to address. Harry and Megan's self-appointed remit is to affect change and that is achieved by rubbing shoulders with movers and shakers not touring regional baked goods outlets. Unlike William and Kate, they don't have to gladhand the hoi polloi (virtually or not) and keep an entire nation onside. Instead, they are free to prosecute their ambitious agenda however they fancy.

That particular tack could come at a cost. Both the Cambridges and the Sussexes' jobs require them to seem truly sympathetic and empathetic to the people they are trying to help. Unfortunately, right now, despite all being well-intentioned to a fault, one of these duos is doing a better job of that than the other.

• Daniela Elser is a royal expert and writer with more than 15 years experience working with a number of Australia's leading media titles.