Not even Lorna could have predicted she’d meet the man she’s planning to spend the rest of her life with. Photo / Emily Chalk
The radio star was about to give up on finding a soulmate – then along came Mike.
When the Weekly caught up with Lorna Riley in March, the Coast FM daytime presenter revealed that despite two breast cancer diagnoses and a marriage break-up, she was determined to continue taking big bites out of life.
But not even eternal optimist Lorna could have predicted that just a week after that story was published, she’d meet the man she’s planning to spend the rest of her life with in a whirlwind romance that’s worthy of a novel.
“I’d tried online dating earlier this year, but that relationship didn’t work out, then my daughter made me go back on to the dating app Hinge,” says Lorna, 56. “The next day, I saw Mike’s profile and thought he looked lovely, so I pressed the ‘Match’ button.”
But while Mike was super-keen to meet Lorna, it almost didn’t happen.
“After my marriage broke up, I had another relationship which didn’t work out, but I’d read the articles Lorna had written on trying online dating, so I decided to give it a try,” says electrics manufacturing company owner Mike, 55, who has three children, Ella, 21, Matthew, 17, and Peter, 15.
“Within 40 minutes of opening the app, I came across Lorna’s profile. I went to match with her, but one of my staff walked into my office and I got such a fright because I didn’t want them to see I was on a dating app, that I accidentally deleted her!”
Once Mike realised he couldn’t undo what he’d done on the app, he figured out a plan B. “Because I knew where she worked, I sent a message to the generic email address at Coast FM, and asked if they’d pass on a message to her saying I’d deleted her and could she re-add me? Then once we were in touch, I sent her an email with all the information she would have seen on the app if we’d matched.”
“I got an email from my web editor saying I had a stalker!” laughs Lorna, who lives on Auckland’s North Shore with daughter Lucy, Lucy’s daughter Kaia, 2, and Zoe, 15. “But I was intrigued and from the get-go, we just clicked. We are like yin and yang – he has four sisters and I have three brothers, and I have a household of girls, while he lives in an all-boy household.”
In one email, Mike mentioned that like Lorna, he loves music, and had two tickets to a James Taylor concert the next day if she’d like to come. When that went well, the pair arranged a second date at a gin festival. “Nothing breaks the ice like a gin festival!” says Lorna, laughing. “We had such a good time. We met a couple of ladies from Christchurch who thought we were married – they couldn’t believe it when we said it was our second date! We ended up telling them they could be bridesmaids – so if they’re reading this, please get in touch!”
So that begs the question – has marriage been discussed? “Yes, it has,” smiles Lorna coyly.
Mike explains, “We’re absolutely talking about living together. We’re just trying to work out the children’s needs at the moment, as my youngest son, who lives with me part-time, goes to school near where I live, while Zoe’s school is in a different part of Auckland.”
Adds Lorna, “I think it’s fair to say that if we had no one else to consider, we’d already be living together. Before I met Mike, I was in the process of buying a house, because it was never my intention to live in a rental for this long – it just worked out that way because I have Lucy and Kaia staying with me.
“At the time, I could see myself living there, but now things have changed. My son, Max, and his girlfriend are moving in. It’s quite possible I may never end up living there.”
Last month, Lorna and Mike enjoyed a romantic getaway to Queenstown, and the couple recently travelled to Perth, taking Zoe and Peter with them, so Lorna could get to know Mike’s eldest daughter, Ella. The pair also want to make completely sure they travel well together as it’s something they plan to do a lot of in the future.
“We’ve both had failed relationships we didn’t want to repeat, but you don’t expect to meet someone who matches in quite the way Lorna and I do,” says Mike, who spends his spare time repairing, restoring and selling vintage cameras. “We meld together very easily. Our personalities, our thinking, parenting …”
“… Our philosophy on life,” continues Lorna.
“Our love of music and travel,” inserts Mike.
“And we love looking after other people,” finishes Lorna.
It’s clear there’s a deep affection between them – Mike often reaches for Lorna’s hand during our interview, while Lorna can’t wipe the smile off her face.
“Mike is the most supportive, caring and generous person I’ve ever met,” she enthuses. “With Mike, I feel like I’ve found home. It’s so refreshing to be able to completely be yourself and know you’re with someone who really cherishes you.”
Adds Mike, “Lorna holds her heart and her soul out in front of her. She has such a big heart and the way she cares for her children is just lovely. We are both the type of people who will try to look after other people’s needs and that type of relationship wears people like us out. So it’s wonderful to be in a partnership where each of us wants the other to just be who we are.”
While the pair could be said to be looking through rose-tinted glasses at such an early stage in their relationship, their kids are a great barometer.
“Our families have integrated so well,” says Lorna. “We all just feel like rather than having to try to make it work, our extended family has just got bigger. Zoe didn’t even want me to get a boyfriend, but the other day she said, ‘Mum, I think Mike’s almost too good to be true.’
“And my parents live in Hawke’s Bay, which is where Mike’s from, so he went to visit them without me and they love him!”
On their return from Perth, the couple will go to Hawke’s Bay in time to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Lorna’s parents, Gavin and Doreen, immigrating to New Zealand from England.
“We’ve been surprised by how well the families have just gone with it,” says Mike. “Nobody has brought in any extra rules or new ways. We all have dinner together and get on really well.”
The pair is well aware that their relationship is progressing at lightning speed, but feel they’re so well matched, there’s no reason to slow things down – even though they haven’t even had a single argument!
“Issues have come up, but we’ve just talked them through like grown-ups,” says Lorna. “We know it’ll happen – knowing how we deal with conflict resolution isn’t something we’ve had to deal with yet. But we aren’t conflict people, so we tend to handle things before they become an issue.”
One aspect they have discussed, however, is Lorna’s experience with breast cancer.
“Lorna’s cancer journey has been documented so I knew about it before we met,” tells Mike. “My grandmother, mother and sister have all had breast cancer, and I have friends with different types of cancer. I haven’t known Lorna when she’s been unwell and I didn’t know the Lorna who had long blonde hair before she had cancer. But I know this Lorna, and I have no concerns.
“You don’t meet someone you get on this well with and decide that them having cancer is a deal-breaker. At the gin festival, I said to her that at that moment, there were probably 50-odd people in the room with cancer, some who knew about it and some who hadn’t been diagnosed yet. And I could be one of them.
“We’re at the age where stuff like cancer and other illnesses are found. She’s being monitored closely and whatever happens, I’m here for her.”
Mike’s unwavering support and love has persuaded Lorna to take the next step – having the double mastectomy she’s been putting off.
“Because I’ve had breast cancer twice, and I have the BRCA2 gene, my oncologist told me it would be wise to have it, as if they find something again, even if it’s really small, I’ll have to go through chemo again, which I don’t want,” she tells. “I’ve been delaying for all sorts of reasons, but I knew I was going to have to do it. Now Mike is here to look after me and the family, I’ve booked it in for next February.”
And Mike isn’t just unfazed – he’s completely ready. “I see us as a herd – kind of like in the Ice Age movies,” he smiles. “Everything we do now is for the wider family. I love that Lorna has a grandchild – it’s a beautiful thing and Kaia is such a bundle of joy. I haven’t run my course when it comes to children yet!”
As the pair pose for our photo shoot, it’s hard to believe that just three months ago, Lorna and Mike were strangers. Now they’re looking to a future together with excitement and joy – and neither can quite believe their luck.
“It really has been a whirlwind,” says Lorna, who earlier this year won Best Music Network Host at the NZ Radio Awards, and has recently also joined the board of the Well Foundation, a charity for several health services across Auckland. “If you’d told me when I was younger that I’d peak at 56, I’d have told you you were insane. But this is really happening and I’m very, very happy.”
You can listen to Lorna 9am to 3pm on Coast FM.
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