KEY POINTS:
After you have a baby there are lots of memorable phrases bandied about:
"Welcome to the world."
"You complete me."
"Breast is best."
"The world can really hurt me now."
That last one has just hit me like a ton of bricks, as I have spent most of
my evening cuddling a sobbing Z. My big schoolboy doesn't think he has any friends and is finding Year One society most difficult.
The stomach twists into sickening knots, the heart aches and the tears tumble - and that's just me. So how must Z be feeling?
As a parent, my first reaction is to fight. Fight for my boy.
I can see it now ... "Ladies, to your corners! I want to see a nice, clean fight."
In my alternate parenting universe, I don't understand why I can't beat up a few first years (collecting their parents along the way) and fix this mess. When I look at the tear-stained cheeks of my cherub, I just want to put it right. I want to make the mean kids go away. Far away.
As a reasonable human being (at least most of the time), I realise that beating people up is not the answer. So what is?
Well, all I can really do is boost my little man up and give him the tools to deal with life. It can be a tough old world out there and unfortunately our babies are going to run into a few nasties along the way.
We all want our children to be popular and loved. I often wonder why it isn't glaringly obvious to all and sundry how totally and completely amazing my little Z is. Why can't they see the brilliance in his jokes and the humour in his one-liners?
I have such an individual, unique child and I am positive that the world is a much better place with him in it. I am certainly a much better person with Z here.
My plan is to build Z's confidence in social situations and help him to develop relationships with other children in his class at school.
A good friend of mine (whose children are now grown) advised me to be crafty and clever and manipulate some friendships for my pumpkin.
Invite some special friends from the class to come along to fun outings with us, have a party at our house for absolutely no reason at all and basically be the coolest people on the planet - which, of course, we already are, everyone else just doesn't know it yet.
Tina Shaw is publisher of the online magazine for solo parents The Single Parent Bible and the director of the Single Parents in Business network. She writes for APN publications in New Zealand and Australia