Bad news: You've been cutting bread wrong your entire life

First you were stacking your dishwasher wrong, then it was your sheets that you were washing incorrectly. Now? It turns out you can't slice bread. Photo / Getty Images

It seems that as humans we struggle with numerous basic life skills.

First we discovered we were stacking our dishwasher wrong, then it was our sheets that we were washing incorrectly. Now? Now it turns out we can't slice bread, news.com.au reports.

Website Food 52 delivered the bad news about our misguided bread-cutting skills last week. Prepare to have your mind blown - we should be cutting the loaf on the side, not from the top.

Despite the fact that her boyfriend tells her this method is "just plain wrong," restaurant worker, writer and food stylist Sarah Jampel insists this method will give you thinner, more consistent sizes that won't be squashed.

"Yes, it takes a bit more co-ordination and care: Rather than resting the flat, stable side against the cutting board, you'll have to hold the bread in place with the hand that isn't knife-wielding," she says.

"But it's not as scary as it looks, and I've seen the technique at bakeries, in the latest issue of King Arthur Flour's Sift Magazine, and on the cutting board of (Food 52 creative director) Kristen Miglore."

Airy, delicate and/or filled loaves (like chocolate swirl brioche)
For delicate loaves you get less wear and tear.

"Since loaves are typically shorter than they are wide, by turning the loaf on its side, you'll have less distance to cover with the sawing motion. That means you'll preserve the integrity of your bread's crumb structure. Too much sawing can mar your slices," she explains.

Tough, crusty bread where it takes a lot of pressure to cut through the top layer
"You'll be able to penetrate both of the toughest parts of the bread - the upper and bottom crusts - right from the start," she says.

"That makes it easier to get thin slices, and it means you won't struggle with detaching the sometimes-tough bottom."

Here's a robotic sounding American chap to explain it to us further.

But as a sage truth-teller in our office just said, "just buy sliced bread and this isn't a problem".

*hangs head*