The Apprentice winner Vanessa Goodson. Photo / Supplied
The winner of New Zealand TV Reality show The Apprentice is battling depression.
Vanessa Goodson, who shot to fame in 2021 when she beat 13 other entrepreneurs on the reality TV show grabbing the $50,000 in prize money and self made millionaire Mike Pero as a mentor, is taking time out from her business life to look after her mental health.
“This has been the roughest year of my life. I’ve had so many struggles since lockdown last year,” Goodson told the Herald.
“From winning the show, I have lost my work team, my business structure and also been through a very personal tragedy.”
In July, Goodson was devastated by the news of her close friend’s untimely death.
“I had never had to cope with grief like that before and in the end I was not dealing with it,” the mum of two children aged 6 and 11 and stepmother to a 14 and an 18-year-old.
“I didn’t know how to deal with my grief and it pushed me into a depression.”
The same week, Goodson’s cleaning contract, that was subsidising her OMG Ness balloon and events business was also terminated - adding fuel to an already explosive and stressful situation.
“I was really stressed out and having a really hard time,” she said.
“But now I’m getting counselling and support. So I’ve decided to take a break from my business OMG Ness, so I can get better.
“I was burnt out and the business was suffering because I was not at my best. I pride myself on supplying top line service to clients and when I wasn’t, I knew something was not right.
“I just need time to heal and will come back even stronger than before.”
Goodson said once she had made the decision to take “me time”, she has been a lot more relaxed.
“I was working too much and was running on empty.
“Once I started reading up on depression and ADHD, I knew that was me and I didn’t realise how long it had been going on for.
“I was in a place I had never been before because I had never had these types of experiences of extreme anger or depression. It’s been the most heaviest thing I have ever had to endure.
“I had never had to regulate my emotions or knew how to. Learning how to deal with emotions now is a big thing for me, because I have always been energised and happy, and lived like nothing could break me.
“Now I know that was a front.”
The timeout also allowed Goodson time to ensure her children are aware of what she has been going through.
“I told my parents and my children that I was suffering from depression and they understand why mum was cranky or angry,” she said.
“I kind of miss the old Vanessa, but it’s more of a mental health break.
“You have to be aware of the signs from your body.
“I was a fully overwhelmed, burnt-out ADHD woman and feel excited to learn more about myself and my mental health because it’s a part of me that’s been locked up, and once I come back, I will be stronger than ever.”
She is happy to share this difficult part of her journey and hopes others who see their symptoms in what she has spoken about, seek help.
Goodson said looking back, winning The Apprentice TV show was a doubled-edged sword.
“I felt the pressure of having to be really successful immediately - even with life throwing me these curve balls.
“My stress levels went from 100 to 1000 instantly, but this break has allowed me to pull together my CV, which I had never had to do, after running my own business for the past 7 years.
“In that time I have gained so much experience and I am now applying for jobs.
“So if anyone out there is looking for a hardworking events, PR, social influential, then I’m your woman.”
Where to get help
If it is an emergency and you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
For counselling and support
Lifeline: Call 0800 543 354 or text 4357 (HELP)
Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Need to talk? Call or text 1737
Depression helpline: Call 0800 111 757 or text 4202
For children and young people
Youthline: Call 0800 376 633 or text 234
What’s Up: Call 0800 942 8787 (11am to 11pm) or webchat (11am to 10.30pm)
For help with specific issues
Alcohol and Drug Helpline: Call 0800 787 797
Anxiety Helpline: Call 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY)
OutLine: Call 0800 688 5463 (0800 OUTLINE) (6pm-9pm)
Safe to talk (sexual harm): Call 0800 044 334 or text 4334
All services are free and available 24/7 unless otherwise specified.
For more information and support, talk to your local doctor, hauora, community mental health team, or counselling service. The Mental Health Foundation has more helplines and service contacts on its website.