Gill South visits a dowsing consultant who alerts her to the unhealthy appliances in her home.
I am now the proud owner of a bioharmoniser, or geopathic stress-balancing coil, having visited environmental consultant Albino Gola, a man who has helped some friends make sure their home environment is healthy.
The dowsing consultant cites the World Health Organisation which estimates environmental pollutants cause 80 per cent of cancers and our living environments are 4 million times more electrified than 150 years ago.
Blimey. I learned the properly functioning human body is like a TV receiver, processing thousands of tiny electrical impulses to control movement, thoughts and experiences. Albino's concern is that man-made electric magnetic fields can interfere with the human signal, the static that may affect the body's ability to stay in tune and healthy.
According to Albino, if I am exposed to things like cellphones, home safety alarms, and computers, it could lead to body pain, neck and back problems, tiredness, depression, headaches and loss of memory. My "supercharged environment" could be upsetting my body's immune system.
When Albino looks at the map of my house he's asked me to bring along, which has all the power points and the meter marked, he consults his dowsing rod and then draws three ladder-like grids across my house. Two cross over at a particular place near where my burglar alarm is. Albino believes the alarm is sending out a lot of harmful radioactivity but he assures me that now I am armed with my bioharmoniser to help clear this. Maybe I should just get a dog.
We talk about a number of unhealthy items I have in the house, like my electric blanket. Case studies have shown that static magnetic fields from metal around the bed can cause insomnia and chronic fatigue. I don't use the electric blanket in summer when I'm well. Could there be a link? I also tell him I'm quite attached to my microwave oven, which he really doesn't like. Albino says it's okay to defrost things but no cooking in it - the rumours about microwaved food being carcinogenic might just be true.
Goodbye to nice warm muffins and quickly cooked beans.
Another "no-no" in Albino's book are underwires in women's bras. The metal wire in many bras are known to be magnetised, and for some this could cause biological stress, says Albino.
As well as my bioharmonising coil which is on my living room wall, Albino gives me a barcode card he has invented, another bioharmoniser, which I can attach to a piece of clothing to help diffuse radiation from mobile phones and laptops. Meanwhile I have a to-do list. I should replace my bras, buy another analog phone, three new hot water bottles, and, to be fair this is my idea, replace the burglar alarm with a dog. Albino also tells me a bioharmoniser coil has been known to help children's bad behaviour - I'll get back to you on that after the school holidays.