Time is the only cure for regret. But if you've checked your bed (empty) and your phone (blank) then you're good to move to the culinary phase of the Morning After The Night Before.

Start with a drink. Experts will tell you to avoid coffee because it will make you more dehydrated and also alcohol, because it will make you drunker. Compromise with an iced coffee. Tastes like a cocktail, contains caffeine and all that milk helps maintain stomach lining.

"Shall we go for brunch" is a Kiwi euphemism for "remind me what your name was" but some mornings, you just don't feel like leaving the house. It's impossible to go wrong with an egg and a non-stick frypan. Wholegrain toast will add much-needed nutrients, but your secret weapon is a small can of spaghetti. Next time you're schlepping between bars, make a pit stop at the all-night dairy and grab a restorative, tear-top tin of microwaveable, mushy, salt-and-sugar goodness. With this in your handbag, you can literally wake up anywhere. Heat, eat, call an Uber.

We're kidding. If they're not paying for a slap-up brunch with a side of smashed avo and bacon, then you should have called that Uber hours ago.