Sally Martin has had to do some soul-searching since saying goodbye to her Shortland Street character, Nicole. Photo / Robert Trathen
Warning: This article discusses suicide and anxiety, which may be distressing for some readers.
Kiwi actor Sally Martin can lay claim to being one of Shortland Street’s longest-serving core cast members.
Second only to Michael Galvin’s Chris Warner, aka Dr Love, Sally spent 15 years playing the gutsy Nicole Miller.
Married three times, including once to herself, she also survived brain bleeds, a helicopter crash and attempts on her life.
If that wasn’t enough, in the past year, she was sentenced to 10 years for murder after killing a woman with her own mother’s urn.
Nothing was ever deemed too far-fetched for nurse Nicole because the writers knew Sally would play whatever they threw at her with sincerity, wisdom and warmth.
Which is how Sally became part of the Ferndale furniture, making it a terrible shock when Nicole was written out. And it wasn’t just shocking for the fans – it was also devastating for Sally.
“My agent called me one Friday night last year,” recalls Sally. “She said, ‘You probably know what this is about,’ and I said, ‘No,’ as I live quite squarely in the present.
“Then she told me and I went hot, then cold. I was home alone too because my boyfriend Dan had gone out. So I spent the next few hours just pacing, walking from wall to wall in every room of our house.
“I cried and tried to calm myself, as it was just such a surreal feeling. Not that I ever thought I was invincible, but it was still awful.
“My brain spiralled into ‘What will I do for money? What work am I even capable of doing?’”
Once the news had sunk in and Dan had come home, Sally texted her friend Hannah, who’s a script supervisor on the show, and Jess Sayer, who plays Maeve, her onscreen wife.
“I told them, ‘FYI, this thing had happened,’” she says. “I didn’t yet have any words I could say out loud.
“Over that weekend, I also spoke to my family, the producers and the head of writing. Everyone was genuinely gutted and so supportive.”
Sally, 40, also says that her nearest and dearest, including beloved partner Dan, heaved a collective sigh of relief.
“The job took so much from me over the years,” she reveals candidly. “Oh, my God, I loved it and I’m so utterly appreciative for all it gave me, but it took so much. I missed momentous occasions and I suffered clinical burnout a couple of times. Yes, it was my choice to stay as long as I did, but the role took its toll.”
With Nicole’s exit part of last year’s Christmas cliffhanger, leaving the show also made for a dramatic change to Sally’s life.
So to recalibrate, she took a much-needed breather.
“When I wrapped, I spent some time with whānau in my hometown of Lower Hutt and with Dan, who’s my rock, plus this guy,” says Sally, drawing Jimi, her “other man”, closer.
Jimi is Sally’s 6-year-old Staffy, who’s wearing an elegant button-front sleeveless cardigan for the Weekly’s visit. As she mentions him, the devoted dog gazes adoringly back at his mistress.
“Now I’m home most days, Jimi Houndrix here is getting lots of walks,” laughs Sally. “He’s not going to day care any more either, so he’s stuck to me like Velcro instead!”
But Sally says she wasn’t blindsided by her axing.
She’s been a professional actor since she was 15, including a year on Power Rangers at 17, so she knows how precarious showbiz can be.
“Shortland Street has been through so much change lately,” she says. “It’s gone from five days a week to three. Other cast and crew members have been let go, so it wasn’t just Nicole who was written out.”
Sally says her heart goes out to her colleagues, whose fates continue to hang in the balance – even though the iconic soap will survive for at least one more year in its new pared-down format.
She knows she had a good run. Arriving in Ferndale aged 24 – her contract was meant to run for just three months – Sally never dreamed Nicole would survive as long as she did.
Over the course of more than 15 years, Sally would make some of her closest friends and experience some of her happiest days.
“We’re like a family out there, partly because we spend more time on set than we do with our actual families,” explains Sally.
And, of course, there have also been excruciating lows. Undoubtedly, the most painful of them all was when Pua Magasiva, Sally’s onscreen husband and friend, took his own life six years ago.
“Pua and I first met on Power Rangers in 2002,” she remembers. “He was so sweet and protective. I was 17 and all the other actors were international, so he and I had this camaraderie as Kiwis. Because I was the only female Ranger that season and the youngest, he became like a brother.
“Then Pua turned up on Shorty as Vinnie. He played his brother Robbie Magasiva’s cousin when my character was with Robbie’s Dr Maxwell Avia.
“Working with them was magic – then Vinnie and Nicole fell in love.
“For a soap opera, they were together such a long time, as best mates, then as husband and wife.
“That relationship onscreen was so beautifully written. Starting as friends with lots of banter, they began a beautiful romantic relationship.”
But she says Pua used to drive her wild on the show.
“I’ll be honest, we worked in very different ways,” she explains. “I’d spend at least one full day each weekend learning my scenes because I had to know my lines before entering the building.
“Happy-go-lucky Pua would just wing it, which is a great energy to bring, but I could be grumpy about it sometimes.
“When I think of the times he’d arrive not knowing his lines, which makes an anxious person so anxious, then to realise the demons he was fighting,” Sally says, before taking a deep breath as she reflects on the tragic loss of her friend, her heart clearly still broken.
Mindful of the myriad complexities surrounding mental health issues, she’s been open about her own struggles with anxiety and depression.
“I’ve been to counsellors and therapists – Pua comes up often,” she shares. “Maybe I’ll never be settled about it because I’m still so angry with him. I struggle with depression and anxiety, plus I’ve had times when I’ve not wanted to be present.
“I get it. I know suicide isn’t rational, but when you see the damage it does to the family and friends left behind...” says Sally, before having to take a moment.
When the conversation turns to the importance of striving for emotional wellbeing, Sally explains even though she’s technically taking time out, she doesn’t like to be idle.
“I really need daily accomplishments to keep me balanced,” she says. “Part of my routine since I left Shorty is to make sure I have a list and I tick things off.
“Because I’m someone who can start to fold the washing, then make toast halfway through. Then the dog looks like he needs a cuddle – so a schedule keeps me in line!”
To that end, Sally has a wall planner broken down into achievements.
“Those things could be anything from applying for a job, working out or walking the dog,” she tells. “There’s self-care, like taking myself to the beach and reading a book or art, which I find very calming.”
Sally laughs a little shyly when she admits she’s also written her first CV and has been navigating the complexity of creating the perfect cover letter that mines 15 years of experience on a soap opera for transferable skills.
“Acting work comes in different ways, so you can’t control that,” she reflects, quickly pointing out she’s well aware how many others will relate. “I’ve applied for so many ‘proper’ jobs, from dishwasher to dental assistant. The job search thing is hard on the soul.
“There are so many people in my position, looking for work in a tough market. But I’m really keen to learn and grow. Only I’ll apply for a reception job, then see 987 people have already applied – and most of the time you don’t even hear back!”
Which is why she’s grateful to her father for fostering her accountancy skills. She’s been quietly carving out a niche by doing part-time bookwork from home.
“As well as a creative brain, I have a numbers brain with all that financial craft I learned from my dad,” she reveals. “I’m pretty proficient at basic computer software from Microsoft to Xero. I’ve always done my own taxes.”
Looking to the future, beyond finding a job and still being an actor, Sally says she and Dan would like to travel – although their furry child Jimi needs to be taken into consideration.
As someone who thrives on stability, Sally wonders half in jest if she fell into the wrong career.
“But you can’t help pursue what makes you happy,” she says. “Change is inevitable and I’m learning to ride the waves as they come. It’s scary, but I’ve been given this opportunity to upskill, re-skill and most importantly, to rediscover myself.
“I’m looking forward to whatever comes my way!”