I’m sure we can all agree this wasn’t the final four we envisioned five weeks ago.
Dave Wardie, Dame Susan Devoy, Lana Searle and Matty McLean are all left to battle it out for a place in tomorrow’s finale after our tall boys, Art Green and Lance Savali, went home in last night’s shock double elimination.
The camp is still shaken to its core and Devoy has absolutely all the power with practically all the stones of power - well, eight of them - after a loving gifting from Green and Savali.
There’s a target on her back and her stones are hot property as the rest of camp start to sniff around “Lance Junior” and “Dick”, two of the names she’s picked for her stones.
She’s also giving out marriage advice, and honestly, it’s pretty sound.
“You allow the person to do the things they like and you don’t feel threatened by it,” she shares of her long-lasting marriage.
But someone who is feeling threatened, by the stones, is McLean, who decides to ask Dame Devoy what she plans on doing with her bagful if she goes home tonight. It’s a bold move, and feels a little like asking the Queen for the Crown Jewels when she’s still alive.
Heading into the challenge, our final four find themselves in a graveyard that has within it a hidden scroll. Whoever finds it gets an advantage, plus $10,000 for their charity.
After spotting many decoy scrolls throwing our four off, McLean decides to climb a pole and nabs the first $10,000 for his charity Zeal Education Trust.
So, what’s on the scroll? Well, McLean has earned the power to steal a stone of power from another player. Susan knows it’s her before he’s even finished reading and offers up Dick.
Host Bree Tomasel declares to McLean, “I never thought you would be getting Dick from Susan Devoy,” and honestly, none of us did.
After a little Wardie and Devoy bug-based pranking – where’s Green when you need him – it’s on to the final face-off. The winning team get a straight shot to the final and the losing pair goes to an endurance battle that evening, with one person going home.
McLean and Searle are off to a slow start, while Wardie and Devoy have a strategy under their belt and are smashing their way through the task. But the final ball simply will not go in the hole, and McLean and Searle catch up.
It’s anyone’s game, and Devoy is losing her patience as communication in her team fades. Ultimately, that lack of communication seals the deal, and it’s McLean and Searle who sink the final ball and earn their spot in the finale.
McLean is emotional as a 20-year dream is realised, but Devoy is less than thrilled with the reaction.
Off-camera, Devoy decides there’s always a time for learning and suggests to McLean that his celebration after winning wasn’t the right move.
“When you win - I won’t say it to you on camera - just always remember the other people first. The first thing you do is shake the hands of the opposition. Doesn’t matter if it’s CTI or Wimbledon,” she offers up.
And I am sorry, but it’s the editing team who can get in the bin for this move. Devoy was privately trying to share from her sporting etiquette handbook in order to not embarrass someone, and they ignored her off-camera wishes. Nobody ignores our Dame.
The vibe at camp is now awkward. Devoy decides she’s going home tonight and it’s all a bit sad. But if there’s one thing we know about our girl, it’s that with a little pre-tournament arousal, she can do anything.
The endurance challenge is holding a plate against a pole while balancing on another pole, and nobody is giving up without a fight. Both players get the shakes and fatigue sets in, but our mighty Dame digs deeper than she thought possible and brings home the win when it counts.
Coming back to camp, she screams at the top of her lungs, “Big booty, big booty!”, which we can’t quite explain, but it feels right in this situation.
She returns with her mighty stones and the win, but it means we say goodbye to Wardie, a triumphant competitor, Green’s new ice-bath bro and honestly, just a lovely bloke.
He’s gutted but he’s grateful, and Devoy questions if he handed the win to her.
“I wouldn’t give you anything. You earned it,” he declares in a mark of respect.
Devoy isn’t leaving without one last one-liner though.
“Here the hell am I,” she shouts, and I now commit to using this line anytime I enter a room.
“And I’ve got a pile of stones. Sorry Jayden, I’ve got to go!” she screams at the host and races to the finale.
- Treasure Island Fans v Faves airs at 7.30pm on TVNZ 2 Monday - Wednesday and on TVNZ+