It has been a whole 24 hours since we left off on last night's cliffhanger, and I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happened next.
Get ready to gasp because Moses was rejected on tonight's episode. Shocking, I know. And even more shocking, he was rejected by a girl he liked for 10ish years. Siri play Driver's License by Olivia Rodrigo because we need to have a cry.
Surprisingly, the rejection wasn't a bad thing in the end.
After an anxious few minutes, Cirrus got some coveted alone time with the handsome bach but the whole situation felt like that time mum set you up with her neighbour's son and yeah, it was slightly awkward.
Later Moses asked Shenae, "Do you want to get out of here?" and it reminded me of when a crush would ask you to leave a party just as it was getting good for "a chat". Reader: It's never just a chat.
There was no time to waste so the potential lovebirds crammed their life stories in conversation which lasted under five minutes.
Shanae shared the tragic story of losing both her parents within five months of each other and my heart broke. Despite her sad experiences, she acted as strong as ever. Queen behaviour.
Then Art made an appearance, which added a bit of spice to the night with a rose ceremony.
Lou already had her rose, and Negin and Lana followed suit. A pattern is being to emerge. After 10 million pauses, Moses reveals Cirrus and Kayla were the final two - And *drum roll* the rose went to Kayla.
"The order of the roses doesn't affect who I am or my worthiness." Absolutely right, Kayla – although being in the bottom two has got to be a stressful experience.
After every low there is a high so from the tense rose ceremony, we headed on a single date with the beautiful Shenae.
Moses revealed they are going sailing and just when Shenae thinks she's getting the best date ever, a third wheel (instructor) arrived.
The date was full of cheeky banter and flirty comments but it's the mansion that holds my attention, specifically the connection circle including all things essential oils, hot chocolate and meditation. Did we accidentally stumble across a Goop convention?
Steph talks to the confession cam and makes us giggle about the hot choc, "It tastes like being ripped off by a chocolate bar."
Thankfully, dinner for Moses and Shenae is a lot nicer. They indulged in oysters as well as their deeper thoughts about life and sparks are flying.
Shenae's diary will be hearing all about this later.
"There is a deeper connection with me and Shenae, I'm not going to put a label on it."
OMG, why not? Come on Moses, I wanted a hint.
A giddy Shenae skipped giddily back to the mansion and received an unexpectedly frosty welcome.
"I think we were all a bit over how perfect Shanae is." Kimi, please take those mean girl pants off and put them back in the closet. Collaborate, not compete, remember?
Here we go with the group date and Moses brought along Paul who, he reveals as the next potential Bachelor.
Negin was instantly in love but it's Sam, Chanel, Devaney and Kayla who score the group date.
The goal? The best plate gets the date.
None of the girls are great at cooking, so this could have been a hilarious disaster, but they pull off domestic goddess vibes even with a few setbacks.
Devaney says, "I will probably vomit if anything inside of it, comes out of it," referring to the fish, and I cried-laughing because I would have felt the same.
Kimi has a real cry back at the mansion because she hasn't had much time with Moses and Negin is all like "I can't deal with this."
Wow, it was like watching every Saturday night play out when your best friend is crying about a boy who doesn't like her.
Kimi, I wish I could have busted through my TV screen and reassured you in that moment.
Back at "which plate gets the date", Sam is the winner.
Moses asks Sam who she thought the top five contenders are, and like the angel she is, decided to give Kimi a shout out in hopes this would provoke Moses to spend time with her. And then the cheeky bachelor asked who would be in the bottom three, disregarding the fact that he is the bachelor and should be the one figuring out this information for himself.
Sam named Dev, Chanel and Negin but warned: "if any of those bottom three go home tonight we will be having words". A great insurance policy if I ever heard one, although "having words" was a very cryptic threat.
Before we knew it, it was time for another cocktail party time and everyone was dressed to the nines.
Kimi said: "if the opportunity presents itself, awesome, if it doesn't, awesome." Whoa, hold up honey. You can't cry about not having time with Moses and then take a passive approach. Pick one strategy.
Moses noticed she was acting a bit quiet and unknowingly says the worst thing possible.
"Kimi, do you want to go home?"
It wouldn't be TV without a few tears, and check back tomorrow night to find out what happens next.
• The Bachelor New Zealand airs at 7.30pm Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday on TVNZ 2, and tune in to hear Sol3 Mio weekday mornings on Flava's breakfast show.
Can't get enough of The Bachelorette NZ on TVNZ 2?
Catch up with ZM's Carwen Jones and Celia Whitley as they break it all down in the official podcast, Can I Steal You For A Second? After each episode airs, join the girls as they do a recap and dissect what's going on. They're the binge-watching friends you never knew you needed.