Sideswipe: October 25: Jono and Ben jabbed

This top guy rolled up his sleeve to get vaccinated and was caught by the TV1 News cameras and lo and behold, a tattoo of two lads of Kiwi TV.

Outdated phrases we should bring back

1. "My wife's family would often say when leaving: 'We're off like a bride's nightie' or 'We're off like a raw prawn'."
2. "A friend of mine used to say of a woman who was jealous: 'She's got her green tracksuit on'."
3. "My late father would ask us if we wanted "skinheads on a raft" for breakfast and then serve baked beans on toast.

Actual headline from tabloid, The Enquirer

"That would be William Shatner, whose worldly achievements apparently boil down to his age and weight," writes Boingboing.net. "A doctor who naturally has never treated the former Star Trek actor says that his recent 11-minute flight into space could've killed him within weeks, as 'the sudden massive forces of gravity during flight increase his risk of breaking off plaque from his arteries and suffering a heart attack or stroke'. You can always trust the Enquirer to look for the cloud in every silver lining."

Old school teachers

"Back in the 50s at my secondary school, a laboratory assistant, a trusted senior pupil, decided to make some gunpowder one day after school. He placed a small amount in a petri dish and lit it with a taper, resulting in a small explosion. This was repeated many times with ever-increasing amounts of gunpowder. What he did not realise was that not all of the powder was being burnt, some was remaining in the air. For his last explosion, he put a very large quantity of powder in the dish, and realising that it could be a big explosion, he tied the taper to a broom handle and reached around the door to light it from the corridor. Result was the unburnt powder in the air ignited and the resultant explosion broke 146 windows in three classrooms and the corridor. He lost his lab assistant status but gained considerable notoriety at school. Amazingly he was not expelled, but was a bit hard of hearing for a few days."

Old school exams

"When we sat at our desks for our biology exam in 1964, a carrot was placed on top of each exam paper," writes Annie Bullen. "A classmate munched hers while waiting for the exam to start. We turned our papers over to find the first question: 'Dissect this carrot and explain its structure'." Meanwhile, Jo Burden has a memory of her late mother-in-law saying her class were given a small glass of sherry before their exams by the nuns.