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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: November 17: How many customers said something before this sign went up?

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
16 Nov, 2020 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Brain fade - vocab edition

Writer James Felton tweeted that he briefly forgot the word "peel" the other day and announced he had to go shave the potatoes, his followers responded:
1. Today when we were out with our dog who walked off the lead at that point and me
slightly ahead, I turned around and said to my husband, "Watch her, the bike people are coming.". It does happen. I forgot the word "cyclists".
2. I did the same a few years back when I said that I had to sharpen the carrots!
3. My kids still talk about going to "the eye dentist" for their annual eye test after one of them forgot the word "optician".
4. My son forgot the word grape vine ... they are now referred to as wine plants in our house.
5. I forgot the word for brightness so announced I was turning up the light volume.
6. I forget lots of words on a regular basis and (use wrong words) so in our house the washing machine is now referred to as a dishwasher for clothes.
7. I'm not a very good speller, so on a shopping list I had to write dish shampoo one day as I couldn't spell liquid. Same with pasta pillows.
8. My good friend is a teacher and forgot the word "rectangle". They will always be long squares now.

Not about romantic love

Got To Get You Into My Life, by the Beatles is not a love song. "It's actually an ode to pot," Paul McCartney said of this 1966 song, though it could easily fool any square parents who might have heard it playing. And with lyrics like, "Ooh, then I suddenly see you / Ooh, did I tell you I need you / Every single day of my life," coming from the "cute" Beatle, who could blame them for the confusion? (Via Mental Floss.com)

Where's the carpark, exactly?

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Spotted in Kelston, West Auckland.
Spotted in Kelston, West Auckland.

From the front line

Jodi Doering, an ER nurse in South Dakota, tweets: "I have a night off from the hospital. As I'm on my couch with my dog, I can't help but think of the Covid patients of the last few days. The ones that stick out are those who still don't believe the virus is real. The ones who scream at you for a magic medicine and that Joe Biden is going to ruin the USA. All while gasping for breath on 100 per cent Vapotherm. They tell you there must be another reason they are sick. They call you names and ask why you have to wear all that "stuff" because they don't have Covid, because it's not real. Yes. This really happens. And I can't stop thinking about it. These people really think this isn't going to happen to them. And then they stop yelling at you when they get intubated. It's like a horror movie that never ends. There's no credits that roll. You just go back and do it all over again."

Discover more

Opinion

Sideswipe: The boss is cleaning up the streets

09 Nov 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Kiwi map inside a kiwi

10 Nov 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Teenage Mutant Ninja Loafers

11 Nov 04:00 PM
Opinion

Sideswipe: Somebody lost the love for brick laying

12 Nov 04:00 PM
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