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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: November 12: Teenage Mutant Ninja loafers

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
11 Nov, 2020 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Ugly Face Club

In Liverpool in 1745 there was such a thing as The Ugly Faces Club, with some worthy members described thus: Mathew Strong, merchant: "A tawny complexion, sharp nose, flook mouth, irregular bad set of teeth like those of an old worn out comb, thoroughly begrimed. A ghastly queer grin and countenance greatly set off by a long carroty beard."
John Williamson Jr: "Ruff face, bleared eyes, flowing like two fountains, monstrous long nose, hooked like the beak of an eagle, pretty large mouth, upon the whole a charming member."

William Long: "Rugged face, very prominent large nose, extraordinary wide mouth, no upper teeth, a large under lip, a prodigious long chin, meeting his nose like a pair of nutcrackers, an extraordinary member."

Lewis Augs Younge: "A large carbuncle potato nose, fine and bushy eyebrows an agreeable facetious grin, wide mouth. When he laughs comes the shape the moon at a quarter old…"

Worst, apparently, was merchant Joseph Farmer: "Little eyes, one bigger than ye other, long nose, thin jaws, large upper lip, mouth from ear to ear resembling the mouth of a shark. A rotten set of irregular teeth, which are set off to great advantage by frequent laughing. His visage long and narrow. His looks upon the whole, extraordinary haggard, odd, comic, and out of ye way. In short, possessed of every extraordinary qualification to render him ye Phoenix of ye Society, as the like will not appear again this 1000 years."
The club's motto was Tetrum ante omnia vultum, "Before all things, an ugly face." (Via Futility Closet)

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Trump bin

No one is spared from US politics

Tony writes: "Just to illustrate its pervasive nature and the influence over the rest of the world , grandchild Hugo aged 8 was told by his father that Biden had won and Trump had lost. He cheered with delight and rushed downstairs to his brother , Noah, aged 10 , who was playing on a computer. 'Trump lost, Biden won'. Noah looks up and says 'Great , but has Fox called it that way?' "

She told me to walk this way

"When my grandchildren were small I always walked on the roadside of the footpath because, if a car came up on the pavement, it would hit me first and protect the children." writes Lesley Williams. "My teenage grandson still remembers my explanation and now if we walk, he takes on that role."

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