Sideswipe: March 7: Shop of vices

Little shop of horrors.

Little shop of horrors.

The great fattening

The Bodi tribe of southern Ethiopia holds a yearly festival in which the man with the biggest belly is honoured and celebrated. To prepare for this big event, the men go on a gruelling six-month fattening journey. The Bodi, a tribe of agriculturists and cattle herders, celebrate their love of big bellies during a yearly festival called Ka’el, in which the man with the biggest belly is crowned “fat man of the year” and earns the respect of the entire tribe for life. But in order to earn this honour, the men must go on a fattening diet of cow’s milk or yogurt, raw blood and honey for several months before the festival. During their fattening diet, the men abstain from almost any physical activities, spending their time in their huts being fed by their women.

Duh. Life’s stupidest moments

1. “I was talking on the phone with my mum. After a while I got frustrated because I couldn’t find my phone anywhere. I told my mom about it and she replied: ‘Wait a second, I’ll hang up and then call it so you can find it.’ I figured out how dumb I was as I was staring at the ringing phone in my hand.”

2. “I was out clothes shopping when I spotted someone I recognised. We made eye contact and smiled at each other. It was just then I realised I was walking towards a full-length mirror.”

3. “I once talked to my girlfriend about the impressive records of Cristiano Ronaldo in football; in her next sentence she asked: ‘How old is Ronaldo?’ To which I stupidly replied: ‘Who’s Ron Aldo?’”

Phone reference

A recruiter writes about what she received about a candidate she was considering for a role: “Yeah Stan’s a nice guy, shows up on time, keeps to himself. If you need someone to warm a chair for 8 hours a day, he is your guy. If you want someone to do a little more work, I got a cinderblock here that’s a little more motivated.”