Sideswipe: March 29: Op shop finds ...

These people know what mortification really feels like

"My wife and I met her friend for lunch one day - I bent over to give her friend's baby a peck on the cheek, didn't see she was breastfeeding until it was too late. It wasn't her baby I kissed."

"When I was like 8 I was wearing those heelies shoes with the wheels. I was in Bunnings and I grabbed my dad's back jeans pockets to pull me along, turned around to see my dad running after me. I grabbed some random dude's butt pockets in Bunnings he turned around looking really scared."

"My friend and I hailed a cab in a residential area, guy slowed down, we jumped in the back and told him our destination. When we got there, we asked how much it was and he said he wasn't actually a cab, he was just slowing down to turn into his driveway when we jumped in ..."

"I went to meet a date at a restaurant. I walked in and saw two piano players playing on two beautiful pianos. Told my date how cool it was to have synchronised piano players. Came to find out there was a full-length wall mirror, and one piano player."

"Overseas talking to a stranger. Me: 'Where are you from?' ... 'Arlent' ... Me: 'I've never heard of it.' ... 'It's an island near England' ... I repeatedly deny knowing it and apologise for never hearing of it. Days later I realised she was saying Ireland in an Irish accent. I was mortified."

Entitled parking

No footpath on the other side of Takehe Rd, Titirangi.

Most earth moving time in history is now

In 2000, University of Maine geological scientist Roger Hooke estimated that human beings now move more earth than any other geomorphic agent, 6 metric tons of earth and rock per capita each year (31 tonnes in the United States!), for a global total of about 35 billion tonnes. For comparison, ancient Egypt moved 625kg per capita per year, Easter Island 260kg, and the Mayan city of Copán 665kg. Rome, at its zenith, including the roads, moved 3.85 tonnes of earth per person each year. Hooke estimates that the earth we've moved in the last 5000 years could build a mountain range 4000 metres high, 40km wide, and 100km long. And if the current rates of increase persist (mostly due to technology and population growth), that mountain range could double in length by 2100.