Sideswipe: December 21: Witty signs gags in The Simpsons

Educational advice from The Simpsons.

DNR doesn't mean DNR

The Journal of General Internal Medicine reported that in October 2012 a 59-year-old man with diabetes, vascular disease, hypertension and high cholesterol was admitted to the hospital for a below-the-knee amputation due to chronic non-healing wounds of his lower extremity. A physical examination revealed a "D.N.R." tattoo on his chest. Reviewing this the patient indicated that he would want resuscitative efforts initiated in the event of a cardiac or respiratory arrest. When asked why his tattoo conflicted with his wishes to be resuscitated, he explained that he had lost a bet playing poker while inebriated in his younger years; the loser had to tattoo "D.N.R." across his chest."

New religion

In Poland, the "Church of the Healthy Body" was recently founded. Members meet at a fitness club. And in Nottingham, England, members of the newly created Church of the 400 Rabbits gather at the 400 Rabbits tequila bar. The religions are a longshot strategy by businesses to avoid Covid restrictions. Because if they're a church they might be able to stay open, whereas if they're a fitness club or bar they're closed. The Polish fitness club/church has already reported that the local police weren't buying the rebranding.

Does it sing and dance?

Slow post

A reader writes: "On Saturday at about 5pm, we received in our letter box a letter - not postmarked, but dated December 8 - from Auckland Council. It warned of a rabbit shoot in the Waiatatarua Reserve on either December 16 or 17 and to keep our family pets inside on those nights. Quite how it takes NZ Post so long to get that mail to us, even at Christmas, is beyond me. The postal workers' union would probably say it's because they are woefully under-staffed."

The Great Conjunction

From tonight, Jupiter and Saturn will align such that you can see them together in the same telescope, and even with the naked eye. It's called The Great Conjunction. It should be viewable from most anywhere in the world. In the Southern Hemisphere look south and the best time to view will be 30 minutes to two hours after sunset. If it's cloudy on the tonight, don't worry. The 21st is just the date that they're closest. But since the planets move so slowly across the sky it should allow for similar viewing in the several days after the 21st. The planets will appear pretty low in the sky so try to find a viewing location where you can see as much of the horizon as possible in the proper direction. Since there are several nights this will be visible it's best to try early to find the right spot.