Fraser Harvey, a regular customer at the Sensory Lab coffee shop in Melbourne taped a flier to the wall of his favourite cafe, proclaiming himself "Customer of the Week". Harvey went about his business. When
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Fraser Harvey, a regular customer at the Sensory Lab coffee shop in Melbourne taped a flier to the wall of his favourite cafe, proclaiming himself "Customer of the Week". Harvey went about his business. When he stopped by again, he saw his picture had been replaced by one of a woman declaring herself customer of the week, every week. It was better than his as it had a frame. Harvey had been challenged. He would not back down. So began the Great Customer War of 2019, as neither would yield to the other. Both Harvey and his anonymous adversary repeatedly one-upped each other — he got a bigger frame, she projected her face on the coffee shop wall, he printed loyalty cards and T-shirts with his face on them ... But then finally Fraser's foe unveiled her masterstroke — a permanent tattoo of a Sensory Lab coffee cup. Revealing her identity as Harriet Noall, an urban planner who works above the cafe, she told Guardian Australia she was now clearly the cafe's favourite customer.
5. ... Not!
4. As if
2. Take a chill pill
1. Steve writes: "Had a young apprentice a few years ago who we couldn't find a nickname for. He was with another tradesman one day and, after a comment from the tradesman, he started to sing I'm a little teapot. Teapot he was from that moment."
2. John writes: "I asked why a certain person was nick-named Pothole. Reply was ... 'Well, what is it that you try to avoid when you're going down the road?'."