Andy Warhol passed his driving test but later opted not to drive after crashing his car into a taxi in New York City. Photo / Getty Images
Andy Warhol passed his driving test but later opted not to drive after crashing his car into a taxi in New York City. Photo / Getty Images
A new biography of Lucian Freud reveals that the meticulous painter was a haphazard driver, with at least 15 convictions for dangerous driving before the age of 40.
This is, perhaps, not all that surprising. Generally speaking, artists tend to be impulsive, reckless and devil-may-care. None of these are attributessuited to driving with due care and attention.
Which of us would wish to be driven by Salvador Dali, say, or Jackson Pollock? Fortunately, although Andy Warhol somehow managed to pass his driving test, he gave up driving shortly afterwards, having crashed his car into a taxi on Park Avenue and 47th Street, the Daily Mail reports.
Musicians are also ill-adapted to driving. Rare is the rock-star-swimming-pool without a Rolls-Royce in the deep end.
If ever you are offered a lift by a stranger and you spot an electric guitar in the back of their car, the best advice I can offer is to say, "Actually, it's such a lovely day, I think I'll walk."
Country stars Tammy Wynette and George Jones used to come to blows over Jones' vexed relationship with cars. Photo / Getty Images
This applies to classical musicians as well as rock musicians. The brilliant Canadian pianist Glenn Gould was a terrible driver. "He would spin out of control on slippery roads, plough into snow banks, run into guard posts on the highway, and drive onto the sidewalk, endangering trees and parked cars," writes his biographer.
Gould's favourite way of driving was with his legs crossed, and no hands. He was often seen singing and conducting from a score open on the passenger seat while driving along.
He was regularly stopped by the police for jumping red lights. In his defence, he admitted to being "an absent-minded driver" but continued, "It's true that I've driven through a number of red lights on occasion. But on the other hand, I've stopped at a lot of green ones and never got the credit for it."
Country-and-western musicians are among the worst. In their maudlin way, they sing about going on long road trips in their cars and their trucks, but safety issues are rarely paramount.
"Keep your foot hard on the pedal. Son, never mind them brakes," sings Jerry Reed on the soundtrack to Smokey And The Bandit, "Let it all hang out, 'cause we got a run to make."
Cherie Blair, the wife of former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair, is one of the few public figures who openly admits to being a 'terrible driver'. Photo / Getty Images
My favourite country-and-western couple, George Jones and Tammy Wynette, used to come to blows over his vexed relationship with cars. "A one-way ticket on the highway to hell" was how a colleague described him.
One night, to stop George from driving to the nearest bar, Tammy hid the keys to all his cars. Undaunted, George rode to the bar on his lawn mower.
On the other hand, people with the wildest characters can turn out to be the most cautious drivers, pootling along at 32kmph, looking in the rear-view mirror every few seconds and rigidly obeying the road code.
But it also works in reverse, as it were: among my own friends I have noticed that it is the quiet, mild, easy-going types who turn into Mr Hyde figures when they get behind a wheel, cursing other drivers, peeping their horns at the slightest provocation, and overtaking with reckless abandon. Few drivers are prepared to admit to being hopeless, and particularly not in print. Instances of public confessions are few and far between. One of the most surprising is Cherie Blair, wife of the former UK Prime Minister, who admits in her autobiography to being "a terrible driver".
She is, she confesses, "someone who has no spatial awareness whatsoever". Ten minutes in to her first driving test, the examiner told her to stop the car.
"In the interests of public safety I'm terminating this test," he said. "Stay here. Do not touch the car. I'm going to go back and get your driving instructor to come and get you."
On her third attempt, she somehow managed to pass, and phoned Tony to tell him the good news. "'I passed!' I said."
Tony's reaction was muted. "You can't have. It's a disgrace! He should never have passed you. You're a hopeless driver."
The very next day, Cherie drove into the back of another car. "On at least three occasions over the years I landed up in a ditch with the kids screaming in the back, and many's the encounter I've had in Durham car parks with bollards that spring out at you."
