Pets behaving badly
1. "We used to live in a converted church which was within a working churchyard. Burials were very rare — perhaps only once or twice a year — but the council were abysmal at informing us when a burial was going to take place. We once arrived home to find a burial in progress. And our entire flock of freerange ducks congregating around loudly begging the mourners for food; and our cats desperately trying to jump into the freshly-dug grave. Had we known, we'd have kept the cats indoors for the day and put the ducks in their shed. We had to round them all up and apologise unreservedly to the mourners as we did so."
2. "My large husky snatched up a rotting fish from the beach and ran away with it. I gave chase (you can't chase a husky, let that be known) and she ran UP A CLIFF FACE with the fish so I couldn't take it off her. She then ate it, with me hopping mad below, then couldn't get down so Search and Rescue had to come and pluck her off the cliff face."
3. "Our labrador is a humper. He will hump when he is anxious and out of his normal comfort zone, so we have to watch him carefully. There is no particular pattern to the humping but he especially likes to do it to my husband if he sits down on the ground next to him or if he bends over at the wrong moment. He can go for months without doing it and we think he's grown out if it and then he just jumps at [my husband], clamps tightly round his waist and humps him. He's 12 now, so to be honest, we are just grateful to see him show a bit of life, but he has embarrassed us many times over the years." (Via Mumsnet)
Scratched out driving?
A man in China received notification that he had been caught illegally talking on the phone while driving. The letter included the surveillance picture of his offence, left, which showed him holding his right hand to his cheek. The man said he wasn't on his phone, merely scratching his face. Despite his protests the man got two demerit points on his licence and was required to pay a 50 yuan ($11) fine.
Doris Day had no secrets
"Doris Day Took Steamy Secrets to the Grave!" declares the Enquirer, claiming that she "hid affairs" with Ronald Reagan and "stole Joan Crawford's boyfriend Steve Cochran!" But as Boingboing.net notes neither of these were exactly secrets she took anywhere, let alone to the grave. In her own 1975 memoir she recalled her romance with Reagan, and her fling with Cochran was well documented over the years. "Doris Day used her squeaky-clean public image to hide the ugly truth," writes the Enquirer. But Day's own memoir 34 years ago stated up front: "This image I've got ... it has nothing to do with the life I've had."
Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at firstname.lastname@example.org