Captain Festus McBoyle's Travellin' Variety Show is pirate entertainment at its most rollicking.
A weekend round-up of how to keep the young ones entertained these school holidays – and beyond.
Pirate life gets Manic: Rich Manic wanted to be a rock star; instead, he became a pirate. He tells Chris Schulz why.
BLACK clothes, tight jeans, earrings and makeup: Rich Manic had always dressed as a pirate, so one day he became one.
"I'd been doing rock 'n' roll music in bands for 25 years," he says. "I kept needing to find bass players, kept losing drummers. We'd almost get there and fall over. I just got bored with it. We just decided to call it a day."
Instead of rocking out, the pirate life came calling. "I had always wanted to explore theatre but never had the balls to do it," says Manic. "I thought, 'Nah, just do it.'"
So he developed the character Captain Festus McBoyle, a rough-and-ready Jack Sparrow-esque pirate but with worse teeth, messier hair, dirtier clothes and filthier jokes. He started performing at kids' birthday parties and progressed to stage shows.
"I always wore makeup when I was a smoky rocker and I like dressing up," he says. "It just felt like an obvious thing to do."
It took off. Now, eight years on, Manic fronts a travelling pirate troupe playing some of the biggest kids' events and music festivals around New Zealand, including headlining a Palmerston North New Year's event in front of 14,000 people. He's also released two full-length albums, with a third due out soon.
Manic says he has no regrets about spending so long chasing his rock 'n' roll dreams, only to realise them as a pirate. His life now, he says, is far more fulfilling.
"Rock 'n' roll's always felt like a bit of an ask," he says. "I don't feel self-conscious doing this. I get the chance to play, to be a kid, to be the rascal, the renegade, to be a bit naughty, a bit flirty, a bit cheeky and have beautiful interactions with kids."
His group, Captain Festus McBoyle's Travellin' Variety Show, has dates booked during the school holidays, including a free event in Te Atatu on April 27. Manic admits his show, which includes songs and skits performed alongside his pirate wife, Miss Lucy Drawers, and others in his troupe can be a little confronting for those who haven't seen it before.
He says parents can be overly cautious and believes what they say and do is tame in comparison to authors like Spike Milligan and Roald Dahl.
"I might have rotten teeth, I might look like I haven't washed for a few months but kids don't care," he says. "Yes, we might throw in some cheeky innuendo but it's over the kids' heads and anyone who picks up on it has a filthy mind to start with."
Manic says Captain Festus has become a full-time job for him; the brand has become so big, he's looking overseas for further, and bigger, opportunities. But all that pirating has taken its toll: last year, Manic was laid up for several months after undergoing a hip replacement.
"It just wore out," he says, blaming "too much bounding around hard stages and not thinking about what I'm doing to my body."
But at 52, Manic's not ready to give up the pirate life any time soon. "My life is more rock 'n' roll now than it ever was," he says, with a toothy grin.
Captain Festus McBoyle headlines the Family Fun Day Mash-Up at Te Atatu Peninsula Community Centre on April 27 from 12.30-4.30pm.
Spinning tunes strictly for the kids
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Radio DJ Lee Marzetti tells Chris Schulz why he gives up Sunday morning sleep-ins to entertain kids.
SHY, awkward, and a classic introvert: "If I have to socialise, I'm desperate to get back home," says Lee Marzetti.
By day, Marzetti is a computer whizz, designing user experiences for websites, hiding behind a screen. But on Sunday mornings he comes out of his shell, getting up early and heading to 95bFM's studio on The University of Auckland's city campus to host The Kids' Show for two hours.
It's become one of the student radio station's most popular programmes and it's no wonder: many a parent uses it to occupy the kids and grab some extra shut-eye on weekends. Marzetti's laid-back style mixes classic kids songs like Bad Jelly the Witch with new material by Kiwi kids' entertainers, as well as chapter books, talkback segments and games.
He's been hosting the show for three years and believes his social anxiety disappears when he's on air because it's "not about me".
"I'm playing songs for the kids. I'm listening to them," he says. "I do talk about myself a little bit but I don't want people to care about what I have to say. That feels okay."
Because he doesn't do much publicity, Marzetti says he rarely gets approached in public. "That's the other lovely thing about radio: no one recognises your face," he says.
But the DJ, whose own kids listen to their dad's show while snuggled under their duvets at home, says he's had to get used to the one thing almost ever announcer struggles with.
"Every radio presenter's worst nightmare is dead air but you have to be okay with it," he says. That's because kids sometimes clam up as soon as they realise they're live on air. You've got to let them get to the thing that they want to talk about and if you interrupt them they don't get to get it out. It befuddles them."
Marzetti's is very good at that and it shows: streaming numbers for his show are often as high as bFM's biggest weekday shows. But Marzetti says he'd rather not know the numbers; he likes to think it's just him and a few kids talking on the phone.
"Because you're in a box, you're in an enclosed environment and I'm so familiar with the bFM studio, it doesn't feel like I'm having to project," he says.
Still, 6am starts on a Sunday for someone with a full-time job are pretty rough. How long does Marzetti think he can do it?
"I guess I'll keep doing it as long as my kids are young enough to keep listening to it," he says. "There's something really nice about it."
Lee Marzetti hosts The Kids' Show on 95bFM every Sunday morning, 7-9am.
Saving the holiday drama for the stage: Dionne Christian rounds up school holiday theatre and dance
Sinarella:
The pitch: Full of dream-big optimism, joy and cheeky humour, writers Goretti Chadwick and Sean Coyle inject the classic children's story Cinderella with a fresh, new, funny and contemporary Pacific flavour. Much-loved performers Irene Folau, Josephine Mavaega, Italia Hunt, Bob Savea and Samson Chan-Boon are joined by a 40-strong cast of community performers.
Alison Quigan, producer: "It's in the same style as we've been doing for the last six plays, including last year's The Wizard of Otahuhu. There's lots of music, lots of dancing and lots of irreverent local references.
Rokalani Lavea, co-director: "It's more than a simple theatre piece. It's really funny; it's for families, for people of all different ethnicities and ages and there really is something in it for everyone.
Brady Peeti, co-director: "From a personal point of view, I get to branch out and do things I never thought I would do – like directing – and I get to do it with amazingly talented performers. The calibre of performers that come through the shows is phenomenal and it makes those watching feel so uplifted. You can feel the joy that comes from people watching the shows."
The details: Mangere Arts Centre, Thursday, April 18 - Saturday, April 27 (matinee and evening shows; 60 minutes long)
The Man Whose Mother Was a Pirate:
The pitch: Margaret Mahy's rollicking pirate adventure, which makes for a brilliant family outing, hits the stage courtesy of Tim Bray Productions. It's the company's 95th production since it was founded 28 years ago. Company favourites Kat Glass and Adam Burrell are joined by newcomers Carolyn Lamonde and Auryn Denovan.
Carolyn Lamonde, actor: "The show is based on Margaret Mahy's book about an ordinary little man who wears ordinary brown suits, ordinary shoes and has an ordinary job but his mother is an old pirate woman who tells Sam she misses the seas so they head off on an extraordinary journey.
"Why take the kids to see it? Because it's fun, you see the evolution of a character – Sam – as he and his mother go on a magical adventure and there's a lot of audience involvement. It's so much fun that I am enjoying being part of it almost as much as the kids who see the show. I grew up in the French part of Canada so I'd never read Margaret Mahy books, but this is a wonderful introduction."
The details: The PumpHouse Theatre, until Sunday, April 28 (morning and afternoon shows; 60 minutes long)
Dance-O-Mat:
The pitch: Put a token in the vintage washing machine-come-jukebox, choose your favourite song and dance like there's no one watching. The Dance-O-Mat is a contemporary urban dance floor designed to encourage spontaneous dancing wherever it appears. Freshmans Dance Crew performs to launch the school holidays and Auckland Live Pick & Mix 2019 programme.
Hadleigh Pouesi, director of Freshmans Dance Crew: "We've got a team of around 20 dancers and we're going to fill the Dance-O-Mat with a tonne of energy in a show which includes everything from contemporary dance to hip-hop and cultural movement. Our youngest dancer is around 14 and our oldest are in their 30s.
"Why will kids love it? Well, the popularity of hip-hop is at an all-time high so we like to take the music and the dance, leave some of the more negative stigmas behind, and just create a fun family show that kids and adults enjoy. We've been part of Pick & Mix before and at each show we get 200 to 300 people and to be entertaining that many people is something we definitely enjoy."
The details: The Dance-O-Mat is in Aotea Square until Saturday, April 27; Freshmans Dance Crew perform today and tomorrow; 45-minute show)
The White Face Crew - La Vie Dans Une Marionette:
The pitch: An aspiring young pianist longs for a friend, as his only companion is the moon who disappears at dawn. He acquires a puppet and discovers it comes alive when he plays music. What could happen next? The award-winning New Zealand company White Face Crew, co-founded by Justin Haiu, Tama Jarman and Jarod Rawiri, performs.
Jarod Rawiri, creator and performer: "We've been performing this show for a few years now and every time we think we're done with it, we're asked to perform it again. People still want us to do it, so we keeping doing it.
"Our intention was to make it for 'grown-ups' who are looking for shows that bring them joy but we constantly heard, 'my kids would love this!' I have no idea why it's so popular – to people of all ages – but we love to have fun and we believe making theatre is about bringing joy and magic into the world. We make shows for ourselves so we're never talking down to kids but our own kids sometimes come to rehearsals. You know it's good when they act out bits of what they saw at home."
The details: La Vie Dans Une Marionette is at the Herald Theatre, part of the Aotea Centre, Tuesday, April 16 – Saturday, April 20; 55 minutes long)
Does something smell a little fishy, and look a little swishy, down at Wynyard Quarter?
If it does, it's probably the Auckland Fish Market, which was recently revamped and is embracing these school holidays with a range of activities for kids and families.
That delicious smell's probably coming from the Auckland Seafood School, where kids will be trained in the art of cooking pad thai and fish sliders by chef Paulie Hooton. Classes are being held on April 16, 17 and 24 and include prizes and a tour of the market.
Or it could be coming from one of eight eateries in the Fish Market's courtyard, which are serving up seafood-inspired menus from pizza, Thai, Japanese, Pacific and South American outlets. There's also good old fish and chips on offer, if you prefer.
They've designed all-day menus for the kids and will be holding happy hours for the adults throughout the holidays.
And if delicious fishy treats aren't enough to entice the little ones there'll be balloon-making on April 20 and 27, and face-painting on April 21 and 28.
If that's not enough, there are free chocolate fish on offer for kids throughout the holidays, and no public holiday surcharge over the Easter break. There's nothing fishy about that.
* For more information and to book classes, visit afm.co.nz and aucklandseafoodschool.co.nz
As in Clarkson's Farm, author Rebecca Hayter switched city living for the country.