MAFS might be over but James Weir is still recapping, thanks to MAFS wife Tracey Jewel's new book.
In a whirlwind of new releases, it's the highly anticipated third book from Tracey Jewel that has resulted in no work being achieved this week.
Remember Trace? Jilted Married At First Sight bride. Constantly being blime-fibe-eb. Yes, that's her! Well, she's self-published her latest tome.
This Goddess Means Business: Marketing pep talks for women in business is a comprehensive guide on … Well, it's not entirely clear.
"Your talent, intelligence, beauty, and boobs are greater than whatever this is," the book declares on the back cover.
Indeed, "whatever this is" is an accurate way to describe the project.
The book targets the niche but burgeoning "corporate romance" genre. Particularly peculiar is the cover that features a headless Tracey lurking in a dark alley while holding an unusually gigantic cup of coffee.
Don't be fooled by the size of the above image. The actual dimensions of the book are that of an Instagram tile and, in hindsight, all the wisdom provided could've been summarised in some kind of meme. Who doesn't love curling up in bed on a cold winter's night with a good meme?
Honestly, the volume could be consumed in all of 20 minutes. It's super tiny. And thin. Kind of like a funeral pamphlet. But I chose to consume it slowly and marinade in the shrewd insights.
The overuse of exclamation points and the misuse of semicolons outnumber the business lessons for corporate goddesses. FYI, there's a hidden meaning in the use of the word "goddess" and it's explained in an acrostic poem-creed.
Jewel draws on her time in the spotlight, referring to the three-second wide shot she featured in as an audience member on Oprah in 2001. And, of course, she details her breakout appearance as a bride on Married At First Sight, which she says left her "bedridden" and "defeated".
But true goddesses don't just stay defeated in bed re-streaming their old MAFS episodes on 9Now. They do it while penning business advice books that allow them to take Oprah phrases like "aha moment" and use them as their own.
Jewel offers the kind of savvy business know-how you just can't get anywhere else. Advice such as "use Facebook" is invaluable. "Let's face it! If it isn't shared online, it didn't happen," Jewel declares.
She also provides a compelling breakdown of how best to use Instagram (memes!).
I found the tip to get Wi-Fi to be a game changer.
Elsewhere, Jewel gives readers a dose of tough love on the topic of happiness.
"(I) take a shift into sitting in my shit and doing real adulting …" she muses about finding the motivation to seek change.
Jewel will mark the release of her latest work with a book launch this Tuesday. Sonia Kruger is a special guest and I have no idea what these two are going to talk about but I will attend and report back about how uncomfortable Sonia looks. Stay tuned, goddesses.