Strange but true

1. The President of Tajikistan insists on a ridiculously long title. State media must refer to him as, "The Founder of Peace and National Unity, Leader of the Nation, President of the Republic of Tajikistan, His Excellency Emomali Rahmon."

2. Wake up! Merriam-Webster just added "Sheeple" (a portmanteau of "sheep" and "people") to their dictionary and used Apple consumers as an example. The definition reads: "people who are docile, compliant, or easily influenced" and explains that it is a "derogatory term that highlights the passive herd behaviour of people easily controlled by a governing power which likens them to sheep, a herd animal that is easily led about" or those who "voluntarily acquiesce to a suggestion without critical analysis or research in large part because the majority of others possess a similar mindset".

One creature's poison is another's caviar

"The picture of the giant cockroach in Wednesday's column reminded me of the experience we had in North Queensland," writes Ria. "The attic of our unit showed signs of rodent activity. We installed several rat poison baits, which were rapidly eaten. After several years of diligently topping up the boxes of poison, but not finding any more rat droppings, we called in a pest exterminator. They informed us we had a cockroach infestation in the attic, and that the rat poison we had been supplying was eaten and viewed by cockroaches as 'caviar', they love the stuff and it does not affect them."

Caller's tunnel vision

A reader writes: "Catching a southern line train from Britomart a young lady was on the phone to Vodafone advising them she wanted to end her contract. The conversation was progressing until the young lady was heard saying 'hello, hello, hello, can you hear me?' The young lady then called back Vodafone and accused them of hanging up on her with no explanation. She obviously wasn't aware the sudden darkness and lack of response was because we were in a tunnel."


A real tongue twister

Last word: "I was in the queue at the local bakery when the lady in front of me asked the baker for 'some of that lovely fellatio bread'. Hoots of laughter before he suggested perhaps she meant focaccia bread."

Picture this: The funniest Wikipedia edits.

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