Metal plate's new role

Grey Lynner Clem Zlami made a ring out of the metal plate used to fix his collarbone after an accident at Turoa skifield in 2015. He posted about it online and within days half a million people had viewed his personal work of art. "The metal plate [pictured] would hold my collarbone together while it healed," he says.

One year later the surgeon unscrewed the metal from his bone and before going under the knife he asked the surgeon if he could keep the metal. "I showed my [bad] ring design to some engineers who are way smarter than me and have access to a laser welder," he says.

Inside the ring is a self-directive to take it easy - Don't F*** Up reads the inscription. "I've had a tendency to break myself in the past," admits Zlami. "So the ring was a little reminder, an effort to buck the trend and save me from adding to my library of X-rays. It's also cool to see that it's inspired others to make things out of their metalwork. I just hope there aren't too many people hassling their surgeons now!" More picture here.


Even in death dad makes sure he has the last laugh

"My mother passed away at the end of 2007," writes Jesse Frankel. "When my sister and I were cleaning out her bedroom I told my sister we should look under the mattresses. Not only hers, but also my father's bed. [He passed in 1985].

My mother used to joke about hiding money from the government, and said "it's under the mattress".Well, my sister said to give it a shot. Under my mother's mattress, nothing.

Under my father's mattress, there was an envelope. In it, there was a small note, yellow with age. On it were written two words: "Ha ha." That was it. My mother was not noted for her sense of humour."

The Makikihi Country Hotel in Waimate has a novel way of getting the safe driver message across. Photo / Supplied
The Makikihi Country Hotel in Waimate has a novel way of getting the safe driver message across. Photo / Supplied

Fresh malapropisms


I was talking to my 6-year-old granddaughter about Bible stories when she proudly informed me she knew all about, "The Tropical Sun" and "The Good Samerican".

2. Our Aussie grandson aged 3, calls Rangitoto "Rangi-potato".

3. A friend's mother is losing her eyesight because of immaculate degeneration.

4. A neighbour told me her daughter was having a "hystericalectomy".

Best thing ever:


Gift idea: I'm sure you will all agree that THIS is pretty much the perfect gift for anyone...

Video: Parking infringement laughed out of court...

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