• I've got a trailer.
• I'm in a van.
• I'm in a $150,000 vehicle and can afford the paltry fine.
• I'm in a $150 car without WOF/rego and I won't pay the fine.
• I've put my left turn indicator on, that's good for about 800m, right?
• I've got a mate in the passenger seat.
• Little Atticus is late for his morning tai chi class at kindy.
• I know the enforcement officer always stands in exactly the same place, out of the rain at Upland Rd shops, so I can drive 1km in the T3, then pull into the correct lane 100m before I get to him.
Stay tuned for next week's list, "Reasons I can park in the clearway/T3 during rush hour", including gems such as "I'm just getting coffee", "I'm in a van", "I'm going to the doctor" and of course everyone's favourite, "It's ok, it's 8.31am, that's close enough to 9am, right?"
Airline moves to soften possible hard landing
Best trolling of a presidential candidate by a corporate entity goes to ... Royal Jordanian Airlines. Mother Jones reports: "The airline is advertising a sale on fares to the US for people wanting to sneak in for one last visit before 'President Trump' enacts his Muslim ban and slams the door shut."
Being too smart for your own good
What is something that people think makes them look smart, but actually doesn't?
1. Using derisive nicknames for the people they don't agree with. Obummer, Killary Klinton, Donald Drumpf, libtards ...
2. Bragging about their IQ. (When asked about his IQ by the New York Times in 2004, Stephen Hawking said: "I have no idea. People who boast about their IQ are losers.")
3. A bowtie without a tuxedo. (When hipsters and Peter Dunne collide you know there's something wrong).
4. Academics that insist on being called Doctor.
5. Jargon ... saying things like "let's workshop this" and "business ecosystem".
6. Setting up your MacBook to do some work in Starbucks.
7. Turmeric lattes, which can help with weight loss and prevent cancer, which is what I call a win/win.
8. Declaring: "I don't own a TV."
9. Wearing a Bluetooth headset.
10. Having a Twitter account.
11. A ministerial portfolio. (Burn!)
(Via Reddit and Twitter)
