Steer clear of that offer

Julia Damrow recently put her Mini up for sale on Trade Me. "Yesterday I received the following offer for a swap: 'Interested at all in swap for a 2008 Yamaha ttr230 dirt bike, plus a beefie (Friesian steer - great meat for freezer) plus $600 cash?'" Damrow replied: "Admittedly we'd have little use for a Yamaha bike or a steer (out of curiosity, is the beast dead or alive?) as much as I like dirt or beef. We're looking for just a swap for money really. But you do get points for the most interesting offer so far."

"Every now and then there's a piece of crumbed fish which just says 'up yours'," writes Andy.

Shark wound taped up

A Gold Coast charter boat skipper who was bitten by a shark taped his leg wound up with duct tape and carried on working. Scott van Burck, 31, said he had reeled in a 1m reef shark in front of eight customers when it turned and bit him on his calf. Mr van Burck said he phoned his mother instead of emergency services, but she decided to alert paramedics. (Source:

Car karma

A reader writes, "I was eating my lunch in my car in the Countdown carpark at Greenlane and, across the way, an up-himself stuffed-shirt leapt out of his gleaming new Beamer to quite aggressively reprimand an elderly lady for resting her jacket on his bonnet while she unlocked her door. Visibly shaken, she drove off and the stuffed-shirt locked his car and strode away. I then walked over and emptied the remains of my lunch on the bonnet of his beloved Beamer and within no time there were seagulls, sparrows and mynas leaping and pooing all over!"

Seen in Sydney:
Seen in Sydney: "I've also seen a bumper sticker saying, 'Men: the world's largest minority group'," writes Gareth. "Which is both easy and hard to argue against."

Kite surfer's surprise rescue

A kite surfer who got into trouble off Sussex beach south of London was surprised when Batman and Robin came to his rescue in kayaks. The dynamic duo were a couple of participants in the Shoreham Beach Superhero Paddle.


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