Overzealous retail staff No1

"I went to a department store with my husband in the US. The place was essentially empty, apart from us and a handful of staff. I tried some clothes on in the changing rooms and my husband waited nearby in a chair provided for that purpose. After a couple of minutes a staff member came and asked him to move away from the changing area. He explained he was waiting for me, his wife ... but no dice. As he walked away he called out to me: "They think I'm a pervert! Don't buy anything. See you in the car park!"

Overzealous retail staff No2

Realising he was without brewing sugar mid-beer-brew, Mathew drove to his local Countdown with his homestay student, who was 17-years-old at the time. "I was stunned when we were asked to produce IDs, and flabbergasted when denied the purchase - of sugar - altogether," he says. "Honestly, if it were my intention to get an underage Italian drunk, I would have gone for the option that didn't take one month's work and taste like stale crackers. What's next, a ban on grapes without valid ID?"

Adultery mattress lay down misere

The Spanish bed manufacturer Durmet has invented an adultery-detecting mattress. The Smarttress reportedly has built-in sensors to detect vigorous rhythmic motions - particular motions verified by research. It then sends an alert to the owner through an app on your smartphone, the Daily Telegraph newspaper in Britain explains. Durmet say the technology is so advanced that the jealous app user will be able to see in real time what parts of the bed are seeing the most activity, giving him or her a mental picture of exactly what their partner is up to. The mattress can distinguish between, say, a pet dog jumping on to the bed and the sensual movements of a furtive lover.

Deep pockets

"With the issue of our new bank notes, I hope they have the staying power as this old $20, found last week in the shallows of Orewa Beach," writes Phil Gilbert. Been in there long enough for marine growth to attach and grow to quite some size. After a clean up, it's good as new, albeit a bit faded, and ready to spend, unless somebody claims it."


Picture this: Photographer Eric Pickersgill took these pictures of everyday scenes, but removed the devices to show how our addiction to smartphones has disconnected us...

Read this: Annabel Crabb writes in the Sydney Morning Herald about the plague of cellphones. "I always knew, as phones evolved into smartphones, that sooner or later - when my phone finally reached the point at which it was cleverer than I am - we'd have problems. And that day has arrived. I now find myself in a destructive and co-dependent relationship with something that is, essentially, a fancy drinks coaster." Read more here...
No, this is not The Onion: The Plough Hotel in Rangiora have banned lycra bike shorts because of their unsightly bulges. " A lot of our customers are elderly or children and they don't need to know that much detail about the shape of somebody," owner Mike Saunders told the Guardian. Pffft.

Video: Children of the 70s will remember this super funky pinball number counting ditty from Sesame Street, with vocals by The Pointer Sisters...

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz