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"My God, there are some black holes ... Dunedin, for instance ... It looked like Tombstone and it felt like that. It still had hitching rails.
"It was Sunday; a wet Sunday in Dunedin in 1965. I don't think you could find anything more depressing anywhere.
"Dunedin made Aberdeen seem like Las Vegas."
Jagger told a Christchurch audience in 1965 "don't blame us if we smell", because of a lack of bathrooms at the band's hotel.
But he was more diplomatic on his 1966 visit where the Stones were the headliners, saying New Zealand was " a bit quiet, like my dad told me like England was during the war" - so much for being "born in a crossfire hurricane" of the Blitz.
But it's Wyman, who departed the band in 1993, who has been the frankest about help bringing the swingin' 60s to Godzone.
Returning to Australia a year after their first visit in 1965, Wyman heard one of the girls he had been with on the earlier tour had fallen pregnant with his child and gone to New Zealand to have the baby. He never heard from the mother or his daughter.
After the Wellington show in 1966, Wyman said he went to bed with three girls in his hotel room, only for the rest of the band to burst in on him.
Image 1 of 14: Four of the Rolling Stones after they arrived in Christchurch. From left: Mick Jagger, Charlie Watts, Keith Richard and Brian Jones. Supplied 30 January 1965 to New Zealand Herald by the Christchurch Press. NZH 1feb65 TIM 4mar06 -