That's about the longest phrase you will hear from 'Chopper' without the F-word somewhere in between.
The man who brought us Harden the F*** Up New Zealand is back with his latest show Make Deads***s History.
The new routine - here as part of the New Zealand International Comedy Festival - comes with a new arsenal of insults and enough innuendo to make even the real Chopper blush.
Heath Franklin has gained some serious mileage from impersonating Mark 'Chopper' Read, the Australian former underworld figure turned media fixture.
He has toured Australia and New Zealand twice, taken his act to Britain and regularly scandalised viewers on Aussie television's The Ronnie Johns Half Hour (which has screened here on C4).
Franklin says his rise to fame was totally unexpected: "I had no idea it would be this big. I started doing it at uni and everyone liked it, but I certainly didn't expect it to be my primary source of income for the next few years."
He says that all sorts of influences make up Chopper: "Yeah, it's a bit of Chopper, a bit of me, as well as other influences including an old workmate on a building site who gave a whole new meaning to swearing."
But who is the man behind the mo? Surely after clocking up the hours of being Chopper, something must have rubbed off on Franklin?
"I did have a dream that I was Chopper it was during a fairly intense period of shows, so that was a bit scary he says.
But there is also an upside: "If you tell people to harden up, you need to live up to your diatribe. And that has actually helped me get out of bed some mornings."
In real life, Franklin is an entirely different person. For one, he has ears - Reid famously had his cut off in prison - and when the handlebar moustache and the shades finally come off, he reveals a fresh and beady-eyed face that has only recently ironed out its youthful dimples.
His next project is a comedy sketch based on greedy corporations who run Third World sweatshops. It's to be staged later in the year in Melbourne, but Franklin admits a trial earlier in the year in Sydney fell flat.
"We went out there in suits and carried off the routine, and they must have just thought we were serious ... they didn't get it at all."
But insists Franklin: "You learn a lot more from the bad shows than you do from the good ones."
He also learned a lot from the subject matter.
"A child in Bangladesh can spend the day on a rubbish heap, scraping together a pound of plastic to be paid five cents - they would dream to be working in a sweatshop," he says, with an undertone of Monty Python's Yorkshiremen.
Last year was a big one for Franklin. Other than touring, the 29-year-old got married and came to New Zealand for a leading role in Predicament, a feature that is the only remaining unfilmed novel by Ronald Hugh Morrieson after Came a Hot Friday, The Scarecrow and Pallet on the Floor.
Franklin stars alongside Flight of the Conchords' Jemaine Clement, as two misfits who befriend a teenager who has plans to photograph and blackmail wealthy adulterers.
It's Franklin's first major film and one gets the impression this is where a deeper talent lies.
His ability to jump in and out of characters is a natural but developed skill.
Franklin insists that he was "incredibly fortunate" to act in the film and heaps praise on director Jason Stutter as well as Clement, who is "phenomenal, and effortlessly talented".
Franklin mentions having to be shuffled away with co-stars as they giggled at the FOTC star, who had to be filmed separately in the more comical scenes.
So what else lies in store for him?
"Just doing things I love, and hoping people will love them as well. I've been incredibly lucky, so there's always the thought of having to go back to a real job again."
Who: Heath Franklin as Mark 'Chopper' Read
When and where: Sky City Theatre, Friday and Saturday, 8.45pm, 10.30pm.