How does Elf stack up in 2023?
OPINION
It’s 20 years since Will Ferrell put the “cool” in yule with the delightful, anarchic Elf, which celebrates its 20th anniversary this month. This big, bouncy Christmas jumper of a movie, in which Ferrell played a human raised by North Pole elves, was proclaimed an instant classic.
But not every Christmas favourite ages well. Just look at Love Actually – another seasonal fave from 2003 that even its director, Richard Curtis, has admitted has its problems.
Problems? Well for starters, there’s Andrew Lincoln as the psychotic best friend stalking his pal’s wife (Keira Knightley) – a character who puts the “incel” in “tinsel”. Then there is the general sense the women in the movie are objects for the men to obsess over or mistreat according to their whim. Curtis has, for his part, expressed regret over the “fat-shaming” and lack of diversity, saying he feels “stupid and wrong”. “I was behind the curve,” he said. “I was unobservant”.
Yet if Love Actually has to go back on the shelf – what about Elf? Or all those other beloved Christmas movies which we unwrap anew each year? Here are 12 flicks of Christmas, rated for “okay-ness”.
The good bits
Frank Capra’s classic is a stirring celebration of small-town spirit, the ties that bind a community together and the importance of family, as represented by George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart), his sweetheart Mary (Donna Reed) and their adorable kids. There’s even a charming angel, Clarence (Henry Travers).
The iffy bits
When George becomes disillusioned with his life, he doesn’t hold back – ranting at his kids and treating his wife as if she’s cramping his style rather than a person who has stuck with him through thick and thin. He also grabs Mary and kisses her without her consent – not wonderful! Oh, and let’s not forget that, while drunk, and after crashing his car, he considers suicide.
Okay/Not okay?
The feel-good message around family and community is ageless. So let’s give it a free pass. Eight out of 10.
The good bits
There’s that classic theme, which evokes Christmas jumpers, eggnog flowing like spring water and families gathered around the fire. It’s the all-American Christmas – cheesy, old-fashioned and snuggly: secretly what we all want from December 25.
The iffy bits
White Christmas is a loose remake of Holiday Inn, the 1942 Bing Crosby-Fred Astaire two-hander for which Irving Berlin originally wrote his famous song. That movie featured – uh, oh – Crosby and Marjorie Reynolds in blackface singing the tune Abraham in honour of the birthday of Abraham Lincoln. Incredibly, Astaire dreamed up the routine as a tribute to the African-American dancer Bill Robinson, of whom Astaire was a friend and admirer (sample lyrics: “When black folks lived in slavery/Who was it set the d*****s free?”). Fast-forward 12 years to White Christmas, in which Crosby teams up with Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen. The blackface is gone – but Berlin’s Abraham has been retained in instrumental form and plays in the background as John Brescia and Vera-Ellen burn up the floor.
Okay/Not okay?
Abraham is often removed from modern broadcasts. So if we all pretend that it doesn’t exist, White Christmas otherwise has a clean slate. Seven out of ten.
The good bits
Howard Blake’s Walking In The Air is one of the most haunting Christmas songs of all time, and Raymond Briggs’s artwork remains as fresh and evocative today as when Dianne Jackson’s adaptation of his 1978 picture book was first broadcast on Channel 4, 41 years ago. Oh, and, amid the melancholy, it has one of the all-time great screen Santas.
The iffy bits
Everything Briggs wrote or drew was ultimately a meditation on death and the impermanence of all things – as made devastatingly clear when young James finds the snowman has melted, leaving behind coal eyes, a tangerine nose and coal buttons in a pile of melted snow. Bit grim, isn’t it?
Okay/Not okay?
It’s fine – so long as you’re okay sending traumatised kids to bed. Six out of ten.
The good bits
Alan Rickman giving good mega-villain as the dastardly Hans Gruber. Bruce Willis crawling around in his indestructible vest. The way the movie never stops feeling like the essence of Christmas, even when it largely consists of people shooting each other in the dark.
The iffy bits
It’s a movie set at Christmastime. Does that make it a Christmas movie? The debate will rage on for all eternity.
Okay/Not okay?
It’s violent, sweary and features copious close-ups of Bruce Willis’s bleeding armpit. In other words, perfect Christmas fare. Seven out of ten.
The good bits
John Hughes’s script captures the chaos and tension of Christmas. Chevy Chase’s Clark Griswold is fretting over a promotion he feels he’s been promised; he also has to put up with demanding kids and infuriating in-laws. We’ve all been there, and the film scores points for conveying the reality of Christmas while ultimately arguing that these negatives are a worthwhile price to pay for being with those you love.
The iffy bits
One of the in-laws kidnaps Clark’s boss without any consequences (don’t try this at home). Clark carries on the tradition established in previous National Lampoon movies of hitting on any woman with a pulse – notwithstanding his supposedly happy marriage to Ellen (Beverly D’Angelo). Meanwhile, Clark’s “senile” aunt has to watch as her beloved cat is accidentally electrocuted during a disastrous Christmas dinner.
Okay/Not okay?
The pervy dad routine really hasn’t stood the rest of time, has it? Three out of ten.
The good bits
The spirit of The Three Stooges and other greats of the slapstick era is evoked as cunning Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) uses a booby-trapped house to hold at bay dimwitted burglars Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern).
The iffy bits
Kevin’s family leave their child in imminent jeopardy across two consecutive Christmases – only to shrug off their catastrophic parenting as not a particularly big deal. It’s also hard not to cringe through the shameless and distracting Donald Trump cameo in Home Alone 2 (1992), which he insisted upon as then-owner of the Plaza Hotel in New York (where much of the action is set).
Okay/Not okay?
Donald Trump walking into camera shot doesn’t so much disturb the Christmas spirit as blow it sky-high. Three out of ten.
The good bits
Jim Henson had already passed away when his son, Brian, directed this seasonal tribute to his dad. It has a timeless Christmas glow – and does a surprisingly effective job of evoking Victorian London (which I’m assuming was full of singing rats).
The iffy bits
The original Christmas Carol was creepy to begin with – but Henson leans into the horror aspect as Dickens’s three ghosts visit Michael Caine’s Scrooge. As expected, the cowled Ghost of Christmas Future brings the chills. But far more scary is the spectral Ghost of Christmas Past – a doll-like apparition whose lilting voice is pure nightmare fuel.
Okay/Not okay?
The Muppets are adorable. The ghosts, less so. Six out of ten.
The good bits
Tim Burton’s charmingly baroque art is timeless, and a visit to Halloween Town and its leader, Jack Skellington, feels as exciting today as it did 30 years ago. There is also the sweet tale of unfulfilled Jack trying to restore some excitement to his life. We’ve all been there. Fair enough, few of us have then kidnapped Santa and tried to hijack Christmas – but you can see where Jack is coming from.
The iffy bits
There are no iffy bits – it’s a classic.
Okay/Not okay?
Totally okay. Ten out of ten.
The good bits
Tim Allen is a bundle of dad-joke energy as an everyday father dragooned into becoming the new Santa Claus against his will. It’s a stressed everyman routine that works as much today as it did in the 1990s.
The iffy bits
The entire “guy kills Santa and is forced to take over his job” plot. The big conceit behind The Santa Clause is that whoever bumps off Father Christmas inherits the gig. In other words, every Santa Claus who has ever stuffed a pressie down a chimney is a confirmed murderer. There’s also some fat-shaming when a shocked Allen starts to take on Santa’s stereotypically rotund dimensions.
Okay/Not okay?
“Man kills Santa” is not a plot that your kids are going to enjoy. Three out of ten.
The good bits
As a stressed dad on a mission to locate the rare action figure his kid wants for Christmas, Arnold Schwarzenegger captures the truth of the Christmas experience for many parents.
The iffy bits
The film argues that the only thing about Christmas that matters is your spoiled children getting their presents – surely the opposite of the true meaning of December 25.
Okay/Not okay?
Arnold “doing comedy” is a bit of a 1990s schtick, and the story is a valentine to commercialism. But none of that will get anyone cancelled (will it?). Seven out of ten.
The good bits
Christmas is stressful, and Curtis’s overblown rom-com nails this fact while managing to be funny along the way.
The iffy bits
Stalker Andrew Lincoln, Billy Bob Thornton’s sex-pest president trying to force himself on Martin McCutcheon’s Downing Street tea-lady Natalie, who has already been fat-shamed. Her thighs are described as “the size of big tree trunks”, and a colleague refers to her as “the chubby girl” – despite her being of perfectly normal weight.
Okay/Not okay?
Curtis receives some brownie points for his belated apology – but there are moments when Love Actually feels like a hate-watch. Five out of ten.
The good bits
Ferrell’s eyes-on-stalks enthusiasm. When Buddy the elf yells, “Santaaaa!”, he sounds like every delighted 6-year-old on the planet screaming at once.
The iffy bits
When Buddy wanders into the locker room where Zooey Deschanel’s Jovie is showering, you wonder if you’ve also wandered… into an entirely different movie. She’s singing Baby, It’s Cold Outside, a ditty since impounded by the cancel police (it’s allegedly about spiking the drink of a prospective date).
Okay/Not okay?
Squint through the shower scene, and it’s entirely fine. Eight out of ten.
The film explores themes of survival and humanity during societal collapse.